Monday, August 17, 2009

Facebook: Friend or Foe?

Somewhere between the “nap” I received from a former pastor and friend using “Send your friends a condom” application {I really could not make that up} and the “I’m so glad we’re friends” request I received from my own MOTHER, I started to get curious about the plethora of things I was getting “gifted” with on facebook {by the way, I ignore them all- even the ones from my mother}.

Don’t get me wrong, I love facebook. And if you and I aren’t friends, yet, we should be. Go ahead; click right here to find me. I would hate for you to miss out on my life-altering status updates such as:
“Hillary just chased down the garbage truck and made him take my trash” and
“Hillary just rescued Henry from the TOP rung of the employee ladder at Hobby Lobby. And I thought it was going to be a boring day”.

Yes, I only cover important national news and such.

Where was I? Oh yes. With the popularity of Facebook, there are many applications/ requests/ games general office time killers that are starting to disturb me, though.

In no specific order, My Top 5 Goofiest Things on Facebook.

1. Mafia Wars
What in the world is this about? You get people on your team and go kill people? On Facebook? From I can gather, you win awards for certain “kills”, get guns, bombs and such from other players and beg people for weaponry. Isn’t this what video games are for? The ones where people get sucked in and spend their lives playing them and begin to exist in an online world? Oh- that’s facebook, now? Well, then that makes it perfectly clear. Pass me an MK47 {edited to add: My dad called and told me it was "A"K47. Thanks for being a faithful reader and gun guru, dad.} .

And I think this game is also called Sorority Life. Just use pink stilettos for your weapons.

2. Flair
The movie Office Space sufficiently covered this. I do not need to expound more. Nor do I need 17 pieces of flair for my Facebook suspenders. Thank you.

3. Farkle/ Lexulous (nee Scrabulous)
I am really happy that you beat your 12 year old nephew at either of these games, but you can also play them in real life. You know- without a mouse in your hand. And you can still eat Cheetos while doing it like you’re doing online. Yes, we see you.
Don’t think those orange fingers don’t show up on your screen.

4. Quizzes
I really thought all these quizzes were kind of silly in Seventeen magazine, but when you get an update that your high school History teacher is “Blanche” in the “What Golden Girls Character Are You?” quiz, it just seems a little over the top. I already know what Steel Magnolia I am {Truvy, of course- don’t we all want to be Truvy?} and I think I did the Myers-Briggs personality quiz in high school, so I don’t want to hash it all out again for the world to see. I don’t care what percentage of “True Huntsvillian” I am or what transformer, Ninja Turtle or Spice Girl I would be.

I just made the spice girl part up. I don’t think anyone can tell them apart.

5. Pillow fights/ pokes/ drinks, etc.
Please do not throw anything at me, pinch me, poke me, etc. If you wouldn’t do it in real life, then don’t do it on Facebook. Now, if you ACTUALLY want to buy me a margarita in real life, then we should talk.

With all that said, there are still things I love about Facebook. It can’t be all bad, can it?
So, in no specific order, here are My Top 5 Most Fun Things About Facebook.

1. Stalking Finding old boyfriends
Come on. Admit it. You know you love it, too! This is the best form of stalking imaginable. You can check out their spouse, their kids, their weight gain their job, their hairline ,etc. It’s the next best thing to a class reunion- and you don’t even have to diet or get a spray tan.

2. Hearing from old friends
How much fun is it to hear from your best friend from 4th grade? Mine lives in Boston now, graduated from Ivy League schools {*ahem* yes, that’s plural} and couldn’t believe that I had 2 children. She’s all hip and modern. And I’m all Grandma Moses. And just happy to be here.

Would you hold my dentures, while I get out my fixodent? Thanks, hunny.

3. Getting the neighborhood gang back together
Recently my childhood next door neighbor and best-est friend growing up posted these pictures.
How much fun is this?I had completely forgotten about my Strawberry Shortcake Bike.
Hillary and Josh Bikes
And my Punky Brewster outfits that I saved for Burger King birthday parties {where I was the only girl}.
Hillary and Josh birthday party
And, apparently, our love in preschool.
Hillary and Josh preschool
Don’t think I let those red pants get by without a comment.
And if you are wondering if I kept that bowl throughout childhood, the answer is yes.

4. Following the news
Sadly, FB is kind of my news outlet, these days. I can find out about hurricanes from my friends living on the coast, what’s going on with politics with people posting articles and the REALLY important things- like when Michael Jackson died. Yes, I heard it on Facebook first.

5. Middle school.
Does anything else need to be said? There is nothing better than a middle school dance picture popping up on Facebook. Like, oh, say, this one.
Twirp dance 7th grade
This is Facebook gold, my friends. Do you have any idea how much fun we all had making fun of ourselves? The fact that the Express Store had just opened in my small hometown is obvious. And my favorite comment by Beth H. was “Holy Bangs, Batman!”
Holy Spandex needs to be added, as well. Wow. That's all I can muster.

So there you have it. Thanks to Amanda at Oh Amanda for letting me play along with her Top 10 Tuesday. Stop by her lovely blog to check out some more Top Tens.

And I hope you paid attention. There will be a quiz on facebook after this.


Susannah said...

WOW! You know, that was a great picture, I don't think there was a one of us who wasn't wearing spandex in some form or another. Love it!

annieck said...

I absolutely love you!!! You always make me smile. :) I whole-heartedly agree with every bit of this post! :)

Kim said...

Thanks for interrupting my Mafia Wars time to bring me this post. I loved it! LOL!

pendy said...

I'm right there with you on making the old connections...don't get the games and quizes (block each one as it appears). Those old photos...worth all of it!

Rebekah said...

I am a guilty Farm Town Player on FB...guilty as charged and I can't stop playing it. *hangs head in shame*

aedozier said...

I can't believe you left out Farm Town in your top 5!!! Do people REALLY have that much time on their hands????

Lauren said...

I agree 100% with all that about FB! I love the HIDE feature. I hide every single quiz ("Which Golden Girl Are You", for example) that shows up in my news feed. I have also hidden many people altogether.

And weren't birthday parties so simple in the 80's? Everyone just shows up at the local Burger King, straps on a crown, and let the festivities begin! I wonder what the other moms would think if I had Sipsey's party there this year...

amykat said...

Right there with you, Hillary! The quizzes, gifts, blessings, Mafia Wars.....seem just down-right dumb to me. I don't really care what kind of wine my friends are.

AmyG said...

I'm with you on the dislikes... I just ignore 99% of the stuff that is sent to me.

On the other hand, it's been great catching up with old friends!

Staci said...

Hopped over from Oh Amanda. I'm a Facebook junkie and I loved your post!! You hit the nail on the head with everything!! If I wasn't sitting in my class reading this, I'd be laughing out loud!!

Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said...

I love all the floral in that middle school dance picture!!

And, AHEM, I quite enjoy quizzes, thankyouverymuch! Although I try to keep them to a minimum - and block all the annoying ones from my feed. Actually, I totally unfriended one guy because of his love of unsavory quizzes (really? do I need to know who your p*rn star girlfriend would be? uh, NO.).

But all that other stuff? Yeah, I hate it, too. I ignore it, I block it, I roll my eyes at it. Not necessarily in that order.

Leigh said...

That's hilarious! great list!

Mandi @ It's come to this said...

So true on all your dislikes (excpet maybe flair ... I'll let that one slide) but others - ugh!! Too many quizes & I'm bound to "Hide" you!!

Brandi said...

LOL. Yes, all the face book stuff is quite ridiculous. I like connecting with friends, but I always wonder why does so-and-so actually have time to take that quiz? . . . And is it somehow life altering to know what color you would be IF you were a color???

The Incredible Shrinking Woman said...

I must respectfully disagree with you here, young lady. It was not until facebook quizzes that I learned that as a woman I belong to the 90's, what my MeyersBriggs personality is, what psychiatric disorder I should be struggling with (paranoia, which is why when it's that time of the month I contstantly ask girls who are behind me "Am I OK?"- I know I'm not the only one who asks that, because every woman in the world knows what that means!) and a plethera of information I might never have known about the "real me" without those FB quizzes. I think that if we replaced SATs in high school with "What country song best represents your life" it would be much easier on society as a whole.
"Oh, you are best represented by the song Friends in Low Places? Well, grab a bottle opener because you are going to be slinging drinks for the next 50 years!"
Seriously, then I could stop saving for my kids college funds...

Amy Kennedy said...

Love the dance picture from middle school-good old GMS! And I am still not a facebook person so I'm pretty sure I'm missing out by not getting to play all those games-hahaha!

oh amanda said...

Oh, this post made me so happy! I'm the facebook person that never even clicks on that bright red notification number in the bottom right corner! I have never ever accepted anything on facebook...well, maybe one snowball...

Thanks so much for linking up today! Can't wait to look around your blog some more!

amber said...

This was hilarious! You forgot one time waster on Facebook, though...the build a garden patch or whatever it's called to save the rain forest. I played along for a little while, but I couldn't handle all those requests!

meredith said...

I totally agree with you on the Facebook issue. And BTW, your mom is now my friend on there! I also had the same Strawberry Shortcake bicycle!


Tami said...

How about that farming thing? What's that all about? And as for accepting all those things people send...yep...just not accepting them. Nothing personal...but not doing it. However, I have joined an FB group called "We Don't Take Requests"....really!

So I won't be sending you any margaritas, but if you lived close by I'd surely make you a Homemade Gourmet Cranberry Margarita!

Donna said...

I LOVE your childhood pics- you were ADORABLE! And I am still putting my foot down and saying no to facebook- I cannot handle another thing to do!

Laura said...

I too had that bicycle! I guess that was a "must have" for those born in 1978. This post is the most entertaining thing I have read on the Internet (I captilize because they made me in college journalism classes - when It was New) in ages. By the way, you can hide posts about certain things, like mafia wars, farmtown. It has made my facebook browsing much more pleasant to not see those every time!

LauraLee Shaw said...

ROFL! Did you know I was reading at Especially Heather and she recommended this post? Now I see why!

Okay, my vent. I'm going a little bit nutz with the "become a fan of" inbox messages. I have no problem becoming a fan of someone, or supporting someone's group...but the constant emails get annoying.

Off the soapbox.

I love putting Scripture out on Facebook and throwing questions out there. I learn so much from the feedback and the discussions!

Janel@Dandelion Dayz said...

Great way to summarize FB.
I don't get Mafia Wars but have a weird love for flair! ;)

Rachel Olsen said...

Loved this post - love all your posts actually.

Just needed to point out that the girl on the far left front of the FB Gold picture would totally be in fashion this fall from what I understand about the hot, new trends. (I'm wondering if that is one of the signs of the end times.)

Henley on the Horn said...

I totally love your blog!! Hilarious! I'm so glad I found you so that I can laugh.

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