Facebook: Friend or Foe?

Somewhere between the “nap” I received from a former pastor and friend using “Send your friends a condom” application {I really could not make that up} and the “I’m so glad we’re friends” request I received from my own MOTHER, I started to get curious about the plethora of things I was getting “gifted” with on facebook {by the way, I ignore them all- even the ones from my mother}.

Don’t get me wrong, I love facebook. And if you and I aren’t friends, yet, we should be. Go ahead; click right here to find me. I would hate for you to miss out on my life-altering status updates such as:
“Hillary just chased down the garbage truck and made him take my trash” and
“Hillary just rescued Henry from the TOP rung of the employee ladder at Hobby Lobby. And I thought it was going to be a boring day”.

Yes, I only cover important national news and such.

Where was I? Oh yes. With the popularity of Facebook, there are many applications/ requests/ games general office time killers that are starting to disturb me, though.

In no specific order, My Top 5 Goofiest Things on Facebook.

1. Mafia Wars
What in the world is this about? You get people on your team and go kill people? On Facebook? From I can gather, you win awards for certain “kills”, get guns, bombs and such from other players and beg people for weaponry. Isn’t this what video games are for? The ones where people get sucked in and spend their lives playing them and begin to exist in an online world? Oh- that’s facebook, now? Well, then that makes it perfectly clear. Pass me an MK47 {edited to add: My dad called and told me it was "A"K47. Thanks for being a faithful reader and gun guru, dad.} .

And I think this game is also called Sorority Life. Just use pink stilettos for your weapons.

2. Flair
The movie Office Space sufficiently covered this. I do not need to expound more. Nor do I need 17 pieces of flair for my Facebook suspenders. Thank you.

3. Farkle/ Lexulous (nee Scrabulous)
I am really happy that you beat your 12 year old nephew at either of these games, but you can also play them in real life. You know- without a mouse in your hand. And you can still eat Cheetos while doing it like you’re doing online. Yes, we see you.
Don’t think those orange fingers don’t show up on your screen.

4. Quizzes
I really thought all these quizzes were kind of silly in Seventeen magazine, but when you get an update that your high school History teacher is “Blanche” in the “What Golden Girls Character Are You?” quiz, it just seems a little over the top. I already know what Steel Magnolia I am {Truvy, of course- don’t we all want to be Truvy?} and I think I did the Myers-Briggs personality quiz in high school, so I don’t want to hash it all out again for the world to see. I don’t care what percentage of “True Huntsvillian” I am or what transformer, Ninja Turtle or Spice Girl I would be.

I just made the spice girl part up. I don’t think anyone can tell them apart.

5. Pillow fights/ pokes/ drinks, etc.
Please do not throw anything at me, pinch me, poke me, etc. If you wouldn’t do it in real life, then don’t do it on Facebook. Now, if you ACTUALLY want to buy me a margarita in real life, then we should talk.

With all that said, there are still things I love about Facebook. It can’t be all bad, can it?
So, in no specific order, here are My Top 5 Most Fun Things About Facebook.

1. Stalking Finding old boyfriends
Come on. Admit it. You know you love it, too! This is the best form of stalking imaginable. You can check out their spouse, their kids, their weight gain their job, their hairline ,etc. It’s the next best thing to a class reunion- and you don’t even have to diet or get a spray tan.

2. Hearing from old friends
How much fun is it to hear from your best friend from 4th grade? Mine lives in Boston now, graduated from Ivy League schools {*ahem* yes, that’s plural} and couldn’t believe that I had 2 children. She’s all hip and modern. And I’m all Grandma Moses. And just happy to be here.

Would you hold my dentures, while I get out my fixodent? Thanks, hunny.

3. Getting the neighborhood gang back together
Recently my childhood next door neighbor and best-est friend growing up posted these pictures.
How much fun is this?I had completely forgotten about my Strawberry Shortcake Bike.

And my Punky Brewster outfits that I saved for Burger King birthday parties {where I was the only girl}.

And, apparently, our love in preschool.

Don’t think I let those red pants get by without a comment.
And if you are wondering if I kept that bowl throughout childhood, the answer is yes.

4. Following the news
Sadly, FB is kind of my news outlet, these days. I can find out about hurricanes from my friends living on the coast, what’s going on with politics with people posting articles and the REALLY important things- like when Michael Jackson died. Yes, I heard it on Facebook first.

5. Middle school.
Does anything else need to be said? There is nothing better than a middle school dance picture popping up on Facebook. Like, oh, say, this one.

This is Facebook gold, my friends. Do you have any idea how much fun we all had making fun of ourselves? The fact that the Express Store had just opened in my small hometown is obvious. And my favorite comment by Beth H. was “Holy Bangs, Batman!”
Holy Spandex needs to be added, as well. Wow. That's all I can muster.

So there you have it. Thanks to Amanda at Oh Amanda for letting me play along with her Top 10 Tuesday. Stop by her lovely blog to check out some more Top Tens.

And I hope you paid attention. There will be a quiz on facebook after this.