Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Mama of the Week

This week's Mama of the Week is my friend Becky from Five Mockingbirds. Becky is a super funny friend and Godly woman who I ALWAYS enjoy being around or reading her blog. She and I are from the same hometown, went to college together, but are much closer now than we ever were at any of those times!

Becky married a guy that Jason went to high school with (doo doo doo doo- Creepy music- not actual poop) which is WILD because our 2 hometowns (our husbands and ours) are 5+ hours apart. I think we should go to Vegas with those odds!

Becky is a RN, but is a practicing stay at home mom to her 3 precious little birds. You should go visit her blog anytime, but especially this week because she has a fabulous jewelry giveaway going on this week!

Tell her hi for me (and a belated Happy Birthday)!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Another Day in Paradise

Did y'all love Jay Leno Monday night headlines?
I loved a good "dumb crook" joke or a "Smelly- Hyney" Wedding.
So, I'd like to thank my mother-in-law for calling me this morning to inform me of this gem that was on F4 of our local paper yesterday.

Go ahead and read. You'll enjoy.

I hope you are laughing! And let me clarify: I do NOT mean to laugh AT this couple; they obviously are poking a little fun at newspaper announcements and themselves. I think they are hysterical!

The humor is on several layers, though. First, the page was covered with 25th Anniversary, 50th Anniversary- you know MILESTONE occasions. So their 29th cracked me up. Might as well celebrate now because who knows if we're going to make it to 30, right?

The next things that specifically humored me, in particular, were: 1) I loath Cracker Barrel and 2) Most of the time, I cannot stand falling asleep on the sofa. I don't know if my mother-in-law knew those details, but my husband sure got a kick out of me reading about their ideal day.

Several things I can tell you just from this tiny article:
* Buster and Trixie would NOT get along with me. I can tell you that right now. I guarantee you they are loved beyond the level of Egyptian cats. I might feed them leftover Cracker Barrel, though.
* And while I DO think sleeping until 9:00 sounds amazing, I don't know if I could then go home and lay around the rest of the day, take a nap and THEN go to bed early. Don't these people have chores? Or laundry? I know they don't have kids, but SOMEthin' to do, right?
* I love that they ASSUME that their children would have been grown, employed and would have paid for their meal. That's a lot coming from folks who have never cut up a dinosaur shaped chicken finger.

What would your faux 29th Anniversary wedding announcement say in the newspaper?

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Worm-inator

Ollie's love is worms is well-documented and he was enjoying a new "Slidey" this weekend. {I'm pretty sure he gets his naming creativity from his mother *ahem* me, who had a bunny named Peter.}

It all started so well... {BTW, I don't know what the deal is with this color going in and out. Sorry for the distraction and resemblance to home movies from the 70s. I fully expect Kevin and Winnie from The Wonder Years to be walking around in the background from the way this looks.}

The screaming child in the background at the end was Henry asking, "Dow why"- translated- "Down Slide". He knows nothing about the stock market, but maybe he's more insightful than we know...

But I digress. Back to Slidey. The love from Ollie became a little too much.

Warning: the following video is not for worm lovers, PETA members or the faint of heart (or stomach).

So there you have it, folks. He is Bro-KEEN for good. Nothing any tape can repair. Another Slidey returned to Mother Earth- only not quite in the way we found him, this time.

I don't think the kids are quite ready to take care of the dogs, yet.

Friday, March 27, 2009

How I Became the Traveling US Embassy

Since I am, unfortunately, a “yes” person, I am on the Board of Directors at Ollie and Henry’s school.

Pre-school, that is. A fancy {READ: FAAAAYN-seee} one that requires a Board to “Direct” it.

This year I have been working with Fundraising which is not my forte. But we’ve gotten to plan several events {and that borders around my forte}, so it has been fun.

Every year our pre-school has a Multi-Cultural Festival. Montessori is a method of teaching used all over the world {and teaches learning about other cultures}, so we have several families that are from all over the world. It’s a nice little hodge podge mesh of cute, little kiddos. This festival highlights different foods, dances, crafts, etc. from different cultures. Thus the name.

Yours truly, who hasn’t lived outside the red clay of Alabama, has been on the planning committee. You see they were obviously lacking in volunteers. Thankfully, there are also several people on the committee who have been doing this for years, so impending doom is not CERTAIN- just possible.

I have been in charge of general d├ęcor at the entrance, so I called my friend Kat who still works here {where I used to work and where Jason and I met}. I knew she had tons of flags from around the world and thought it would be cool to have those outside the entrance.

Wednesday, I went over to her office and loaded up the flags, 8 foot flag poles and stands in the rain in my global warmer SUV car. Then I went to start said vehicle and it would not start. Apparently, the battery was dying and a nice man jumped me off {the car off- why does that sound bad?} and then I was on my way.

When I got to the school to pick up the kiddos, I {left the car running} and then only got 3 stands inside before I heard talk of possible canceling the festival. WHAT? I am currently the traveling US Embassy and my car looks like this {please note the rain}:

We will be having this dang festival!

So Thursday, after I had my neighbor jump my car off, I decided that it might possibly need a new battery. I dropped the kids off at pre-school, {left the car running} then hopped back in to go get the new battery.

There is a neat little device that the guy installing the battery tried to put in my charger so that the computer wouldn’t erase the clock and the saved radio stations, etc, when they replaced the battery.
But he couldn’t get to it because I still had 12 EIGHT FOOT POLES in my car.
It was around that time, when the weather forecast looked like this: that we officially decided to postpone the planned OUTDOOR festival {to a weekend when I’ll be out of town!}.

I didn’t want to unload the flags and heavy poles if Kat needed them back, so I left her a message begging for the STUPID flags. At this point, I hate every country represented and am planning an Olympic boycott of most of them- just for being stuck in my car.

Then last night I went to see Motherload {hilarious- I would highly recommend} with a group of girls. We met for dinner and then my friend Dana hopped in the car with me.
And the flag pole collection.
My WORD! I have got to get these things out of here.
After she snorted laughing at me, she said that she would just “use them as an armrest”.

Eventually, I got the things out of my car this morning. I heard from Kat who graciously said to keep them, so I unloaded them in our administrator’s office. Poor thing.
Maybe I can wedge my children into their car seats now.
And, at least, the represented countries of the world will have someplace nice to hang out without the possibilities of juice stains, red clay from muddy shoes or dying car parts. That's all of the Olympic spirit I can muster right now.

Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner

I don't know what that means, but I read it the other day and it cracked me up!

Ok, drumroll, please.........

The Lisa Leonard Jewelry $50 Gift Certificate winner is:
Commenter #44- Carrie Allen!

Also known as the luckiest person you'll ever know! Carrie has recently won tickets to kids shows, music shows, etc. And she's expecting her second little girl, this spring. So, she is lucky and blessed!

I was overwhelmed by your response and so happy to hear that you love Lisa's jewelry as much as I do!

Here's a secret: if you sign up for her newsletter, you will receive a 15% off discount on your first order! So, go ahead and get yourself something pretty- or, better yet, tell your hubby, sister or mom to go ahead and put that in your Easter basket!

Congrats, Carrie!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

American Idol Wrap Up

Are you here from Boo Mama's site? Welcome!

Does anybody else love American Idol?

I have been a fan since season 1, episode 1, so I remember Ryan’s original counterpart- Brian Dunkleman. {I wonder what he’s doing now. I’m sure he’s working at a Sonic or doing voiceovers for Playhouse Disney. Poor guy.} And I remember when their website was idolonfox.com. Oh, yes. I'm old school idol.
Here are my thoughts as I was watching the show tonight:

What do you think about the new opening with the judges being introduced like rock stars/ wrestlers? Paula is wearing a tutu. She would be a great wrestler in that.

Tonight: Motown. I’m predicting right now that Lil Rounds is going to knock it out of the park.
The contestants fly off to Detroit where tens of fans greet them. You think they could have rustled up a few more locals.
They get to meet Smokey Robinson and Barry Gordie. I think Smokey Robinson has fake eyes or at least those color lenses in an odd teal that is not found in nature, much less in eyeballs.

Alright. On to the songs.

1. Matt Giraud- Let’s Get It On/ Marvin Gaye
He reminds me so much of JT- from the old days- more pop-ish. I like that he moved away from the piano, but there aren’t too many moves that can do that really go with this song, if you know what I mean.
I think he did a great job! Randy says man and dude 14 times in his critique which clearly means he did well. I’m afraid Paula might cry at every contestant. Paula called him worn in jeans which in Paula-ease means she liked him. He is one of my new favorites. I thought he was kind of sketchy at the beginning, but he's on the comeback trail.

2. Kris Allen – How Sweet It Is/ Marvin Gaye
I think he could have changed up this song a little bit to make it more contemporary. And didn’t JT (the original JT- James Taylor) sing this, too? And hasn’t it been in a phone commercial, too? It makes me think of calling someone for 5 cents a minute for some reason. I totally love him, but not this song completely.
Kara and Paula want to have his children. Simon wants him to be conceited. Randy: “It’s all good, baby”.

3. Scott McIntyre- You Can’t Hurry Love/ Diana Ross
Here’s the thing. Scott is blind. Ryan consistently makes thought-less comments. Tonight he said, “Good to see you” which made Scott say, “Good to see you, too”. In the auditions, he tried to give him a high 5 and Scott just stood there and left Ryan hanging. You can’t pay to see that kind of awkwardness very often.
There’s talk about him staying at the piano or “taking a risk” and coming out from behind the piano. {Someone I happen to be watching this with says if he really wants to take a risk he should dance around the stage. The same someone tell s me not to type this because it’s very politically incorrect.} Really? Are they forgetting he is blind?

Smokey at this point is useless. He tells everyone that they are great.

I like Scott like I like Michael McDonald. I would never know who he was if I met him in real life, but he is nice to listen to. I think that his family is so super and he is probably the nicest guy in real life. Very real and somewhat immature in his social skills, but it works for him and makes him over-the-top likeable. Scott has a tough time on TV. He obviously has never seen it on TV, so he is always a little awkward with talking back to the judges, weird kind of facial expressions and why, oh, why do they make him do the dance numbers on the results shows?
Paula uses “I” incorrectly as the object of a phrase. Oh, Paula.
Would you have said, “Straight up now tell me do you wanna love “I” forever”? NO.

I think Simon is the only one who is honest with him. I think they all have been gentler in their comments to him because he is blind.

There. I said it.
I completely agree with Simon. He keeps picking bad songs. They all try to backhand compliment him and say he’s a better singer than that.
Paula gives Simon crayons and Ryan calls them “crowns”. Did anybody catch that?

4. Megan Joy nee’ Corkrey. {Apparently she is going though a divorce}- For Once in My Life/ ?
I hate to tell you, but I don’t like Megan on this show. I’m sure she’s very nice in real life and it was amazing that she sang last week with the flu. She is beautiful, but is just still or has 2 awkward moves- both involving her hand on her hip or a skirt shake with her wrist.

Smokey again has no advice at all.

Tonight she sounds and looks like she’s singing Copa Cabana on the Carnivale. This is painful. She is so stunning, but she isn’t the whole package. All the judges agree with me.
Why do they always say that they “had a good time” when they stink? And don’t you think that Ryan has the most awkward lines when he talks to them after the performance? They have the canned answers for him, but that is always an awkward interview. Like Smokey’s eyes- you have to look at it even though it's odd.

5. Anoop Desai- Ooh, Baby, Baby/Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
Do Anoop’s eyes cross? It’s either that or his eyebrows cross. I can’t tell.

Smokey is a smoke blower. This is how he got his name.
Is Anoop wearing his letterman jacket from middle school? What is that? I think the song is good, but I can’t imagine it on the radio today. I think Anoop should always sing Bobby Brown. Everybody kinda liked it. Vocals ++ Showmanship--.
Randy said he was the serious Anoop- dog and to bring the party on. I think Randy needs an interpreter to sit next to him.

THERE IS A COMMERCIAL BETWEEN EVERY SINGLE PERFORMANCE. I am so glad this is Tivoed.

6. Michael Sarver- Ain’t Too Proud to Beg- Temptations
He said he’s going to “church” it up and that made me kind of hopeful, but my hopes were crushed.
Smokey actually has some advice. He tells him not to sweet talk the song. Which, I think, means not to "church it up".
I really like Michael; he seems like a very nice and amicable, but I can’t get the image of an oil rigger out of my head. I don’t think he should have beat out the girl who left last week. I just don’t like watching him perform. I think he is great to hear, but I can’t watch it. I think he’s out of his league at this point and might fall into the crowd from all the hand shaking.
Simon said he couldn’t wait for it to end. And he has no chance of winning it. I totally said that before he did.

Simon’s haircut- where do you go to get that? I think that Mark Richt goes to the same place.
They tell him he’s horrible. He says he’s “having a blast”.
That’s about as common as Ryan telling you to wait until after the show to vote and Kara saying something about their artistry.

7. Lil Rounds- Heat Wave/Martha and Vandellas.
Lil looks like she is from the 60s, but with a flapper dress- not like this could be a song on the radio. Why do people keep forgetting that? {I can’t think of this song without thinking of the beginning of Sister Act.} Lil is such a great singer, but I wish she would have made this relevant to today. She looks like she’s trying to do a reproduction.
Randy just asked her “how you be?” {interpreter??} Kara said what I did- everyone was waiting for her and she disappointed a little. Paula has to make her feel good. Simon said it was too “fost”. I have to agree with them.

8. Adam Lambert- Tracks of my Tears/ Smokey Robinson
After last week, Adam has some making up to do. I’m glad he doesn’t have on as much eyeliner. Or “guy-liner”.
I don’t know if I like him looking like Danny Zuko.
I do like the sound, though and the box thing that they are playing.
Have you ever heard The Darkness? I know they don’t sound like the most upbeat, happy band, but they are fun- kind of a kick back to 80s hair bands. He sounds just like their lead singer- which is a compliment.
The song is really cool in the end.

Kara said she has 6 words: “That was one of the best performances of the night”. Kara skipped math for music class, apparently. All the judges love him.

9. Danny Gokey- Get Ready/ ?
He has been my favorite from the beginning.
Smokey actually has something helpful to say, again! Twice- one for each weird eye.

OK. Danny is completely ignoring Smokey’s advice that he acted like he was going to follow in the tape. And he is saying “Re-tay” instead of Ready. Oh, no. Not my favorite Danny performance. Why did he have to go to the back up singers and do the hand roll like he’s in the Brady Bunch band?

Randy said the same thing I did. Why am I here and not there? They are totally running late and hurrying up. I feel bad when they cut people short. Danny is still great and my favorite.

10. Allison Iriheta-Papa was a Rolling Stone / Temptations
I love this song and the beginning base line. I love it like the intro song to Chuck and The Apprentice. I must have a little FONK and I never knew it. Allison kind of reminds me of Kelly Clarkson. Oh, yes. She rocks it. All the judges love her. Simon drew a mustache on Paula’s face.
What’s in their coke glasses?
Who I love:Matt, Kris, Danny, Allison, Lil and ok, fine, Adam.

Who I think is going:Either Megan or Michael.

What about you? Who are your favorites? What did you think about tonight?
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Don't forget! You have until Friday at noon CDT to enter the Lisa Leonard jewelry giveaway. You can comment once each day. I'm so glad y'all are excited like I am about her jewelry!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Holy Spirit v. Holy Ghost

What’s Working for me/ in me this Wednesday is the Holy Spirit.

Do you say Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit? I was raised Catholic and my grandfather {Other Mama’s husband- Big Daddy} always said Holy Ghost. When you blessed yourself {spectacles, testicles, watch, wallet} in a group, he would always say, “Holy GHOST” really loudly at the end.

However you say it, I believe that He is the spirit of God that is in all of us and He {in a ghostly manner} has been working in me. He actually has been working on me all the time, but I’ve just recently listened on a couple things that I’ll share with you.

First, my precious friend Debbi has become a Compassion International Advocate. She has sponsored a compassion child for about a year {I think} and now she works with Compassion and talks to other people about the program and what they do.

Here’s something you need to know about me: I am the person who turns the TV when Sally Struthers comes on or changes the Christian radio station when they are doing the “Share-a-thon” {or whatever they call it}. I despise the begging for money portion on the radio and the flies that you see all around those kids on the TV. It makes me so sad and broken hearted, but it also makes me cringe. Something about the desperation and longing in their voices makes me uncomfortable. I can’t quite describe it, but you know what I’m talking about. I am a charitable person, but even after I make my “pledge”, I still turn it because it’s not warm and fuzzy. And then I turn back when they are “positive and uplifting”.

That makes me happy, thankyouverymuch.

The Holy GHOST/ Spirit had been on me about sponsoring a child {for the amount of money I blow at Target daily} for a while now, but it took my friend Debbi to make it a reality for me.
She is going to Guatemala in the summer and showed me a couple of children from the area. I had told her that we wanted a boy close to my boys’ ages thinking that they would have stuff in common in the years to come. But Sunday night she said she had found a little boy with my qualifications, but also had found a little girl that she knew was in the same center that she would be visiting that summer. That would definitely give her the chance to meet her and take her things directly from us. It was a tough call, but then I got to look at the little girl. She is adorable. With the “right” clothes and updates, she could easily fit into a cute little 3rd grade in our town. But, instead she is around the world with nothing. Here’s the kicker: her birthday is April 28, 2001.

Which also happens to be the exact day Jason and I got married.

Haven't you heard the saying that "a coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous"?

So, WE HAVE A GIRL! I finally have a girl!
Please meet Waleska and join me in praying for her:

I’m so excited to find out all the things in her world and can’t wait to find out how we can be a part of it.

Second, the Holy GHOST has been working on me about a regular Bible Study. I am so bad about actually spending time with God every day, but somehow I manage to get to Facebook every day. Anybody else?

I suffer from C.H.A.O.S. pretty often. Darby mentioned that term recently and I think it was coined by FlyLady, but it definitely applies to me. It stands for Can’t Have Anybody Over Syndrome.

Our home is a WRECK and pretty much stays that way. But I bit the bullet and cleaned hid my junk to have some folks over to keep me accountable in my Bible Study. We are starting the Beth Moore Ester study and I’m so excited! The subtitle of the study is, "It's tough being a women". Hello? I'm pretty sure this is something I can relate to!
Tonight was our first meeting and oh, how I have missed me some Beth Moore! She blogs, you know?
She can bring it like Domino’s!

I will definitely keep you updated on the things that I'm learning, and I would love to know if you have done this study.

What I've come to realize {via the GHOSTLY one} about both of these things is that the idea of always having it easy is like having Easter without the Lent. You have to go through some sort of pain, discomfort and hardship to have the celebration be worthy. That's what is working for me this Wednesday.

For more tips, check out Works for me Wednesday's not-so-new home at We are THAT Family.

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Also, don't forget to enter the giveaway for Lisa Leonard Jewelry. You have until Friday and can enter once each day. Have fun!

Mama of the Week

This week's Mama of the Week is my sweet friend, Annie.
We were sorority sisters in college and despite both of us doing some things we probably will never admit to our children, we had a great time then and "learned a lot"- most of it out of the classroom, of course.
Annie is a beautiful and precious woman of the Lord. She has 2 sweet boys and is expecting her third- a little GIRL!- this spring.
Her blog is definitely one of my favorites and you should read it. The first post there right now is her birthday note to her oldest son who turned 5 yesterday. Go read it and tell me you didn't tear up. I dare you.
Be sure to comment and tell her you popped over from here.

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Don't forget to enter the Lisa Leonard jewelry giveaway! You have until Friday! Keep those comments coming! You can enter once a day. Have fun!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A few pointers to the Squad in 1993

Dear HA Varsity Cheerleading Squad of 1993,

Ready?
OK.

{In case you can’t spot me, I’m in the dead center- obviously because I’m the tallest, right?}
1. I know. I know. These are the cutest cheerleading uniforms“of all time”. You had them made by a seamstress in town because you didn’t want to order any like everyone else’s.
But they will not allow you to jump AT ALL. There is a reason that people buy those stretchy material ones instead of starched, pressed cotton.
2. Speaking of the cute uniforms, people who don’t know that the name of our school is Houston Academy will read them as “HA”- a laugh. As a squad at cheerleader camp, people will call you “HA HA HA HA HA”. Yes, they’re all gonna laugh at you.
3. You do need to go over your routine ONE MORE TIME before the pep rally. You will drop the red head on the end {Tiffany} more times than you will break up with your collective boyfriends.
4. Just because you can do a “black light” dance does not mean you have rhythm. You are the whitest white girls ever to attempt to dance to “It takes two to make a thing go right”. Ever.
5. I know you don't want to hear this, but you are the skinniest you will ever be in your life. If you call your self fat one more time I’m going to turn off that 90210 season finale before you can fist pump in the opening song.

Thank you very much, girls. Return to formation please. {Remember to not “break” your wrists.}
Have a fun time and soak up high school. It will fly by quicker than Milli Vanilla could have their Grammy taken away.

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Don't forget that you can comment once a day for the Lisa Leonard jewelry giveaway here!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Lisa Leonard Jewelry GIVEAWAY

As you might recall, my sweet hubs gave me a trip to a blogging conference for Christmas. I ended up going by myself and had an amazing time: nice hotel, good food, parties {that included drink tickets} and I met dozens of amazing, talented women.

Among my fabulous new friends is Lisa Leonard. My {new, but immediate} friend Monica and I were eating lunch and I just started chatting with the girl next to me. Half way into our first conversation, I looked down at her name tag and literally gasped! Much to my horror, these words came out of my mouth, "You're LISA LEONARD!! You're FAMOUS!!". Way to keep my cool, right?

I had seen her hand made jewelry before and had always loved it. She is so talented, it will blow your mind. But as she casually shrugged off her fame {she really is famous, y'all}, we continued our conversation. I noticed that the girl sitting next to her looked kind of eerily similar to her and before I could say something else dumb about their hair being the same, Lisa introduced me to her twin sister, Chrissie.

The thing that struck me most about both of them is that they are extremely genuine and unpretentious. They are the kind of people who are beautiful without acting like it and as natural as your friends from elementary school {without the bowl cut}. It was just that morning that I had thought of the new name for the blog and we ended up talking about our grandmothers at lunch and crying- over pasta. I doubt I have ever cried over any pasta before.

After Blissdom, Lisa very generously asked me if I would give you a chance to win a FIFTY DOLLAR gift certificate for some of her beautiful jewelry. It took me about 2.1 seconds to e-mail back with a YES! I know you will love her {and her jewelry} like I do. This is the piece that I have and I wear it almost every day {it has my children's names on it, of course}. And get compliments on it almost EVERY day!
You will notice that her jewelry is just like her: natural, elegant and simple, yet always draws attention. She is truly a beautiful person, inside and out, and you can see that in her work.

Here is how you enter:
1) Go to Lisa's website and cruise around. {Click that link back there or go to http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/}.

2) Come back here and comment telling me which piece is your favorite or which you would pick if you won. {To comment, click on the link that says "Comments" on the bottom right of this post.}

3) This contest will be open until next Friday, March 27th at 12:00 noon {I know midnight would sound more official, but I don't want to stay up that late unless there's a Jon and Kate marathon or something else earth-shattering going on like that, you know?}.

4) You can comment/ enter ONE time each day.

5) Winner will be chosen by random.org.

6) PUH-LEASE make sure that your e-mail address is included in your comment so I can get in touch with you afterward. I'd hate for you to win and then LOSE because I couldn't find you!

That's all! Have fun! I can't wait to see what your choices are. If I had to choose another {and I probably will}, it would be this, or this- maybe this.
See what I mean??

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Chic-fil-A

We are down visiting GiGi and Big Daddy {my mom and dad} and had a nice little 6 1/2 hour drive to get down here yesterday.


Do you know how we made it?


Chi-fil-A.


Yes, it is the thing that gets me from stop to stop coupled with throwing goldfish to the back of the car. While we do have a TV with movie playing most of the time, I honestly feel bad for my kiddos stuck in the straight jacket-type carseat {especially compared to "the hump" we rode growing up and somehow survived}. So the Chic-fil-As are like a shining oasis on the desert of I-65.

Here are my guys at the Chic-fil-A south of Birmingham {exit 246}. We also stopped at the one in Prattville because of a traffic jam, but our other favorite is off of I-85 and Taylor Road in Montgomery.
Here's the rebel. Just laughing at the "socks required" sign. Bwaaa Haaa Haaa. Come and get me.
Here's a mom tip: You can trade in your kids meal "toy" for FREE ICE CREAM! I have about a dozen of those toys stacked in my diaper bag and I think I'm going to have a little birthday party there and show my hand of moral and virtue CDs {really CFA? That disappoints me... but your waffle fries make up for it} for the kids ice cream.

Too bad we're driving home on SUNDAY...



Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I can't make this stuff up

This is the weirdest story and I wish I could tell you in person. My friend Cate always makes fun of my sound effects while telling a story, but this would be totally worth it. Please picture lots of hand expressions and it might help.

My wonderful mother-in-law took the kids for the WHOLE day today so I could actually get some work done during Spring Break. So, I did do a sizable amount of work, but I also went for a run around 12:00-ish because it was BE-YOU-TIFUL outside in sunny Alabam.

Let me preface this with something you need to know: we do live in a nice area. Usually free of wild women except the occasional Bunko group.

On the way up one of my final hills (I was walking) I saw a woman screaming and waving her hands. I was jamming out to my fav- tobyMac- so I couldn't hear what she was saying, but she was obviously distressed and r-u-n-n-i-n-g like mad down the hill (towards me) in the middle of the street. I heard a dog barking in the distance, so I tried to ask her if she lost her dog. Here's how the conversation went:

me: Did you lose your dog?

her: What?

me: Did you lose your dog?

her: What? (coming closer)

me: Have you lost a dog? I saw you screaming.

her: What? (even closer)

me: (Trying to vary my question here) I hear a dog barking. Are you looking for one?

her: What? (almost in my face and most definitely crossing the comfort conversation barrier)

Right now I am questioning if I can "take" her or not. (Not that I plan on "taking" people, but I like to size up the scenario when needed. This was NEEDED.) I think she might be that wired on something or maybe deaf.

I think I can take her.

me: I'm sorry. I thought you might have lost a dog or something and I was going to help you find it.

her: (screaming in my face) NO, but I lost a husband, so I'm a little CRAAAAZAAYYYY (that last part screamed with varying tones of voice just to let you know for sure she is in need of medication).

her, again: Was it a poodle?

me: I'm sorry? What?

As I was scoping the neighborhood trying to gage if I could take her, I saw a little old lady walking down the hill on the sidewalk. Great! A witness! About 10 steps more after I saw the crazy lady run away waving her hands again, this was my interchange with that little old lady with a cute little bun and a visor:

me: (no words- just puzzled expression)

little old lady: She really is crazy (said very matter-of-factly, as if she knows this street yeller very well).

I don't know a lot about grief (thankfully) and I'm sure people handle it in different ways, I just haven't heard of street running/ yelling/ accosting in any of the "Steps". Apparently they missed one.

God bless this woman if her husband really did die, but I think he might have just run away.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Guided Tour

Welcome, Again!
I'm so glad you're here!

Let me show you around the new blog. Would you like something to drink? I'll be right here if you want to go get that {*ahem* yourself- sorry- I can't do everything for you}.

Across the top there you have the little links where you can piddle around:
Home, About {that's a fun page, but they're hard to write! Has anybody else tried to do that?}, Links {that takes you back to my old page with ALL the links- more info later}, Subscribe {that sends every post to you in a reader- ask me if you need help with this}, Facebook {are we friends, yet?} and Twitter {which I'm trying to get better about using}.

Some techy info: this is still technically a Blogger blog. I am using a custom domain and we're having a few difficulties getting that set up. It will soon be theothermama.com, but you will always be able to get to it from theothermama.blogspot.com. I wanted them to be the same because I'm a little OCD. Go to the About page if you need more proof of that.

More info on links: I'm going to be updating and adding more in there today. They are in different categories.
College mamas: these are friends from college
Hometown mamas: these are friends from my hometown (are you noticing a pattern here?)
Readin' these mamas: this was the nicest way to say these are people I totally stalk
Friendly mamas: these are people I know in real life or have met/ corresponded with in blog land

There are also some new things I'm super excited about!

I have a button now! You can be an Other Mama, too! Just copy and paste the code and enter it into a little widgety-gadget thing on your blog! Isn't that fun?

Mama of the week: I get to highlight a special Mama of the Week who exhibits great "Other Mama qualities". What are those, you ask? Read here.
This week's Mama of the Week is none other than my fab-o blog designer, Deanna. She is amazing to work with, manages 3 super-cute sites, has 2 little boys and is just one of the nicest people you'll ever know. If you are thinking about re-doing your blog, you should get in touch with Deanna. And I wouldn't say that unless she was wonderful. Or if you love Aprons, cooking or her own super cute site, just click on over there and tell her I sent you.
She's from California, but she's Southern at heart. We will forgive her.

The Other Mama Loves: I am going to highlight things I am currently loving and I'm still working on that section. Not that I don't love a lot of things; I've just got to get them all in that little column. {Please note here that I DO love a semicolon- properly used- and if I could just put a symbol there, I would.}

Best of The Other Mama: This is like a greatest hits area. And there is, in no way, anything technical or research approved about why those posts got selected. I just liked them.
And I thought that if someone visited here for the first time and they only saw my dog's hiney, then that wouldn't quite give them a good idea of the blog. {Insert your own dog hiney joke here.}

Have a lovely St. Patty's Day! I hope you get to kiss a Blarney Stone, find a 4- leaf clover and drink some green kool-aid {spiked with beer} today. Here are some cute activities to do with your kids!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Pulling the Plug (Part 2)

You made it! Thank you so much! Welcome to my new digs!

I asked you back here to help with ideas for ditching Ollie’s passy {he is 3 ½ YEARS OLD!!} and you had some awesome tips! Thank you!!
Please note that request was LAST YEAR and we had actually wanted to get rid of it for a year before that. There are a few reasons we haven’t chucked it: 1) we are weaklings, 2) he loves the thing and 3) I love it when he naps and is happy. Need I say more?

Yesterday, in the drizzling yucky rain, Jason and I decided to go get Ollie a big boy bed. Turns out we were able to take it with us and put it on top of our car a-la-redneck-moving-day. Thankfully there was plastic on the beds and another plastic sheet on top of the car, but we looked very Griswolds-go-to-WallyWorld coming down the street {only without the station wagon or dead grandma}.

We made it home and Jason got it together {had to switch from a toddler bed to a full size with one of those transformer crib to big boy bed thing-a-ma-bobs}. We went to dinner with friends and got home a little late. The boys are usually in bed by 8, but with some dawdling and the lateness, it was about 9 when we put Ollie in his big boy bed. Without his passy.

We were watching and listening the monitor intently and then heard him say, “Mommy, where's my blassy?” So, I went in, cut the end of one of his passies off and handed it to him- without explanation. I took 2 steps and heard him say, “Wait a minute! This blassy is Bro-KEEN!” I told him it was the only one he had and he said, “OK”.
After a couple hours of him talking about his “bro-keen blassy” {I went to be before he did!}, he finally went to sleep.
We had the same conversation today at nap time and he went to sleep a little quicker. Ditto for tonight.

So, there you have it, folks. My professional opinion: cut, lie and run. And turn off your monitor.

I had planned this long conversation with him about how he is a big boy and big boys don’t need passies. I had a reward system in mind, maybe a new “big boy” toy. I even thought about stickers, a Build-A-Bear with his passy in the tummy {don’t think he wouldn’t rip that sucker open} or giving them to babies at the hospital.

In the end, I just decided to make up my own way. Am I proud of the lie portion? Maybe a little... wait, no, I’m supposed to say “no”. But if it works, then I think I’ll get over it. And he’ll be happy that his teenage friends aren’t calling him passy boy.

The best part about the new big boy bed is the bedding that was a great gift from GiGi and Big Daddy for Christmas! It’s from the Land of Nod and looks like this: Just add some clutter, a laundry basket full of clean clothes and a big bunch of trains on the floor and you’ve got his room. I would go take a picture, but he is SLEEPING! Halleluiah!
I’m about to do the same myself- I snuck a few extra passies out of his stash, so I should get to sleep quickly...

Friday, March 13, 2009

You Might Be ARE a Redneck If...

You use this as a dog leash:Check out Leia's leash on the left there. I couldn't find her collar anywhere today and had to improvise.
What is that, you ask?

That would be Jason's lanyard for his name badge at work with a knot tied in it for her neck and then the leash clipped to the end.

That's right. The Clampetts got nothin' on me. I got your cement pond rite cheer.

Luke {the dog I'll be happy to give away for free on the right there} is just happy that he's not wearing his doggy wife beater today.

Gotta go shoot some beer cans out back before I let another Friday night slip away from me.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Scooch Doctor

**Warning for MEN: Just don’t read this today.
Go read about Barbecue or Fishing or Golf. Thank you.**
So today was the day. THE day. My annual check-up at the OB/GYN. Well, just GYN right now, but he was so much more fun as the OB.

At OB visits, you are excited about what you weigh, you get to hear a baby heartbeat, you don’t have to get undressed and you don’t feel quasi-violated.

But today was the GYN visit. It started off in the waiting room for a while where nice “lite sounds” music was playing and there were stacked magazines coming from every direction. One lady was there waiting and she didn’t want to chat. I’m always a little suspicious of those types.

Then when I got called {Ooh! Lucky Me! What do I win?}, I went back to the rooms- all I’m familiar with from 2 recent pregnancies- and got weighed. Ugh. Just as I suspected. That winter weight is lingering around until spring. I think the scale Sprang forward 10 pounds or so last weekend.

Then back to the room, blood pressure checked {110/60}, then instructions to wait for the doctor and to “put on these”. Of course she meant to take OFF all my clothes and last shred of dignity {what was left after the scale} and put ON the paper towels that they call robes. Then the waiting began.

You’ll be happy to know that I DID shave my legs, but I forgot toe nail polish! Oh no! Chipped and half- painted pink isn’t showing off my best side, but I guess that wasn’t what they were there to see.

I had to wait a particularly long time today because of someone’s emergency surgery (did they even consider me??), but I made the most of my time casing the tiny room.
  • Ceramic cross cut vagina model? Check.
  • Nuva ring display {how in the world that thing could actually work}? Check.
  • Mandatory large calendar and picture of babies on the wall? Check.
  • Plastic bubble wand looking things stacked in some sort of display case with jelly nearby? Check.

Then I counted the weeks until Memorial Day on the giant calendar and counting how many pounds I should lose each week. That would be 2 pounds a week for 10 weeks and then I will be in pretty good shape to be seen in a swimsuit. Check. I’ll get right to that. As soon as I can get OUT OF HERE.

At this point, I’m sweating through my paper towel gown and hearing the doctor’s voice in the hallway booming that he needs a nurse in 3. What room am I in, again? Then I hear a knock, knock on another door. Danggit.

Finally he got to my room and the exam began. The conversation is always weird, isn’t it?

My doctor always feels obligated to ask about my kids- I guess since he delivered them and all- then it’s usually on to something like football or asking me what church we go to for the 18th time. It doesn’t matter what the conversation is, it’s just a band aid to cover up the action that’s really going on. The truth is that someone is doing what you might not even encourage your husband to do and might be considered illegal in a few bordering states.

Can’t think about it. Think about football.

Then the dreaded words, “Could you SCOOCH down a little bit?” Down the chair that is, of course. Because they need a better angle whilst your legs are forced into the squat position hoisted in the air. Nothing makes me cringe quite like the word, “stirrups”. Bleeeewwww.

Finally. O. Ver. With. YES!

I made it back out the hallway, to the front desk and out the door to freedom.

Until next year, Scooch Doctor! Have fun with your crazy bubble shapes or whatever it is you do with those things. Please don't tell me. I promise I don't want to know.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Spring:: She is dead to me

After losing an hour of very meaningful sleep this weekend and “spring”ing forward, I was ready for one of my favorite seasons to arrive.
Monday and Tuesday were Beautiful! Some of my favorite sights were here!
Scrumptious Strawberries: {from Sam's! Did you know they have super big fruit, too? And the fruit bowl was a gift from my mom years ago- most likely from TJ Maxx or Marshall's- something that you'll never find again, you know.}

Blooming daffodils- and soon to bloom little buds (the ones after the original ones that died in the BLIZZARD OF 09!!! light snow last weekend):
And bare little legs with shorts! WOOHOO!
But today, we are back to yuckiness and 56 as a HIGH. What?

Why, you ask? Well, Spring has tricked us all. She is a tease and I, for one, am upset. At who? {And I know it’s supposed to be “whom”, but that is sooo presumptuous.} I don’t know. But I think this is affecting my mood. It's called Seasonal Tease Disorder and I'm tired of it.


Speaking of the hopeful arrival of spring and shorts, can I ask you something?
Do you shave your legs all the time?

I have a secret to share with you. I RARELY shave mine. As in, it might be a month or so in the winter between shavings. And this is not only because I’m cheap (you know- expensive razors and all), but also because I am uncoordinated. I can’t for the life of me shave standing up in a shower! I have to get in a bath tub {with piping hot water, preferably} to make it happen. And how often does that occur? About as often as I get my hair highlighted or a pedicure- not nearly as often as I need. {I kind of put all those things in the same category of special perks!}

Here’s the nice part, though: I have fine, blonde hair, so you can’t really tell. Until I feel it flap in the wind when I walk down the hall in the mornings before I put my jeans on. Then I can tell it might be time to take care of a little hairy business. And my hubby doesn't care all that much {I don't think...}. Jason's test is if he can physically pull the hair, then it's too long.

But I am a strong believer in the theory that if you don’t shave, you don’t have to shave. Anybody else? I heard this a long time ago and it has been true for me. What’s your routine?

Is this a gross topic?

Delayed Spring is good news for the rest of the world: I’m back to jeans for another week or so. Next time maybe I’ll look like this lady right here . {If you get talking pigs at that link, scroll down to "Bicycle, Unwronged". It will totally be worth your time for a good giggle.}

Monday, March 9, 2009

Housekeeping

I sure hope you know me well enough to know that I don't clean well or nearly enough to give anybody REAL housekeeping tips.

This is about BLOG housekeeping. That, my friends, I can do.

As you may have guessed, the domain name of this blog will change to www.theothermama.com in a week on March 16th. {Wait! Come back! Don't click there, yet! There are only GoDaddy ads there right now and nobody needs to see Dale Earnhardt, Jr. in that much leather.}

I hate to even ask you, but to come along on my bumpy adventures, you will need to change your bookmarks, side bar links, reader feeds, tattoos, etc.

This site will still be here in a different format, but it won't be the main page, so it would be super kind of you to change to the main page.
I would be ever so grateful and thank you ahead of time for your help and kindness.

I'll be right here this week, but I wanted to give you plenty of time to plan ahead.
Because I'm thoughtful like that. And you might need to call so they can "work you in" to the tattoo parlor. I hear they're busy over spring break.

Alright. Back to my duster and maid uniform.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Why "The Other Mama"?

In the quest to find a new name for this blog, I kept finding myself falling into that “other” category.

You know those questionnaires that ask if you are Caucasian, Hispanic, African- American, Hawaiian/ Samoan {really?} or Other? I’m definitely Caucasian in real life {just call me Whitey Whiterton-from the pale side of the family tree- see my dance moves if you have any question}, but I would check “other” in plenty of other areas.

For example, I work full time, but I work from home. {Go ahead and e-mail me here because I know you all want to know what I do to be able to work from home. ‘Cause it’s so glorious and all.} I don’t fit into the category of office workers and I don’t fit into the group with stay at home moms. I’m somewhere in between.

I’m also the “other” mom on the soccer field. Not the one who gets to chat casually with friends over a juice box swiped from the snack cooler. No, I’m chasing a screaming one year old off the field who wants to play on his 3 year old brother’s team. Then I’m coaxing the 3 year old back onto the field to try to run after the ball- and not the ball or the girls on the next field.
Yes- hi- that’s me.
You probably have one of those at your soccer field, too. I’ll let you in on a secret: she needs something stronger than a juice box after the game.

Every now and again, when the moons align and I wear matching earrings and have a decent hair day, things come together and for a brief shining moment- I HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. And then I get to pre-school and find out one child has dumped a truck full of rocks on another child’s head and the other child is crying because we forgot to bring his show-and-tell.
Ah yes. Back to myself again.
So, I carry them out, one screaming under each arm, and just smile at the people who give me the look of, “I’m so sorry ” and those who stare and point. Unfortunately, they are NOT pointing at my great hair.

In many ways, I fall into “The Other Mama” category, but the most important factor in the name of this blog is a person- My Other Mama.

When the first grandchild my mom’s side of the family was born, the all-important grandparent names were chosen. The in- laws received the basic Grandma and Grandpa {original, huh?} and my grandfather decided he was going to be Big Daddy. My grandmother’s famous quote was, “there is no way in Hay-ell that I’m going to be ‘Big Mama’!” She decided to be “Other Mama”- which stood for the “other” grandmother. Most people might think this would be derogatory or ordinary, but she didn’t- and neither did we. On the contrary, we thought she was the coolest grandmother around.

We called her Other Mama {or Other for short}, but her real name was Smiles. {Oh, wait, her real name was Veneita, but she might be mad at me for telling you that.} Her father started calling her Smiles as a baby and it stuck; it was even on her checks. She grew up in Piedmont, AL, and then moved to Apalachicola, FL, when she was in middle school. She met my grandfather when she was 14 and he was 19 at a mixer at the local USO dance hall. She said it was love at first sight.

Other Mama in High School:
They got married when she was 18 and raised their 4 children in the quaint and beautiful fishing town of Apalachicola. The town puts Mayberry to shame for small town lore and their family was a vital part of the community. The stories go that my grandfather was most definitely the disciplinarian in the family and Other Mama was the soft spoken, kind mama. She wanted you to make the right decisions and taught Christian morals and values, but was very understanding with all her children and their friends.

I wish I knew the secret to this and hope that I’m able to be that kind of mom. I think they had stronger support networks in small towns in the 1950s and maybe stronger drinks. I think I should do some research in both those areas.

Of course, she was even more lenient with her grandchildren, as most grandparents are. She did everything she could to spoil, lavish praises and reward us. Other Mama had a special sort of compassion in her spirit. I don’t know how to describe it other than telling you that if she was sitting, her fingertips were in constant motion either caressing a pillow, your arm, or a bourbon and water. Something about that constant motion made me feel assured and comfortable. She had a quiet confidence, a quick wit and a determination to love the heck out of you.
Other Mama and Big Daddy {maybe in the late 70s or early 80s?}.
They were married for 58+ years before he died in 2005.

She was a true Southern Belle: a graceful hostess, a charming story teller {with a few off-color jokes mixed in} and a good friend. She threw great parties with amazing seafood appetizers and always had napkins made for the occasion. She had a group of girlfriends that she played bridge with for 50 years {and possibly shared a few drinks with over the decades}. When I called her to tell her I was pregnant with Henry, she told me that all of her friends used to call each other and their code was, “Well… guess what?” {Ours is, “You’re not going to believe this…”}

She loved to travel and passed that love on to all our family. She took me and my cousin DK to Disney World when I was 9. She and Big Daddy paid for our entire family (17 of us) to go on cruises to Mexico, Canada, Alaska and many more trips. She told me on the dock of a cruise ship in Alaska that the most important thing in life was spending time with your family.
My mom, me and Other Mama in 2002.
She died unexpectedly just days after Henry was born. I was still in the hospital when I got the call. I was not allowed to travel or attend the funeral {because of the C-section}, so I didn’t get to mourn with my relatives. She left behind a large brood, who rode the tides of laughing, crying, believing and reliving. We still do it every time we’re together- which is pretty often. She would be proud of the legacy of importance of family that she left behind. She is in heaven with my Big Daddy, now and heaven is much better off. I’m sure they have matching napkins with their parties since she has arrived.

So here I am. Trying to enjoy every day with my family, write a good story every now and again and laugh my way through the bumps. I have given up the quest for perfection and have decided to settle for memorable. Perfect isn’t any fun anyway, right? Even if people say, “Remember that girl who always had crazy hair, macaroni stuck to her jeans and made fun of her kid’s art?” at least I’m memorable.

I hope you’re an “Other Mama”, too. You don’t even have to be a mama! Just someone who enjoys a good story, time with your family and a fun time with friends {bourbon not required, but suggested}.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Going through The Change

Going through "the change" at such an early age? Why, yes. I am.
Just a little blog change-aroo around here. You like?

There are still a lot of things to be done, so pardon our progress during construction. If I had a little yellow man to stand up here, I would.

And when I say "our", I mainly mean Deanna's. She is a lovely friend from California who I met at the Blissdom Conference and she is graphically talented {where I am graphically challenged}. She is amazing and manages 3 sites: The Domestic Chicky, The Design Chicky and The Apronista. I'm telling you right now you will love her.

I think there are only a few people in the world that know my level or quirkiness: my parents, my husband, my college roommates- and now Deanna joins the ranks! I don't know if there is some sort of medal that goes with this accomplishment, but there should be. Maybe free drink tickets? I'm not sure.

I will be blogging about the same embarrassing and funny stories that happen to us on a daily basis. Won't you come along for the fun? I'll explain all about The Other Mama very soon. And there will be an awesome giveaway {that I keep promising} THIS WEEK, so stay tuned.
Thanks for coming along!

Friday, March 6, 2009

The Mac Daddy

In case you didn't know, my husband Jason is a computer nerd.
And he's okay with that term. In fact, as soon as you say it in any sort of derogatory manner, he quickly points out that "nerds rule the world".

See? I told you he was a nerd.

Since Jason is a geeky, tech-y person, he was been wanting a Mac Book for a while now. And yesterday he found his new love.
The MacBook Pro {purchased by his company, thankyouverymuch}!

I tried to give these 2 some time alone last night to bond.

So now I guess he's a switch hitter , batting for the other team - I don't know how to put this!
I guess since the first thing he installed was Windows XP, then he's not completely a convert... yet. I think it all started with our iPhones last summer and now he's in love with Apple. Or at least the idea of being cooler with Apple products. Those nerds are always trying to climb the cool ladder. Just ask Patrick Dempsey; that guy will NEVER get to be cool.

So, what are you? A Mac or a PC?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Welcome to the World of Boys

The weather is finally getting more spring like, so we did some exploring in the yard yesterday afternoon. The kids had just gotten up from their nap (thus the hair) and O-man discovered a new friend. And just so you know, Ollie is getting his Afro hair cut this afternoon and was due for a haircut last week, but I had to reschedule because his hair cutting distracter {*ahem* ME} was preoccupied with more important things.

Ollie's current favorite book is "We're Going on a Bear Hunt", so the rest of the afternoon we were going on a "worm" hunt. One of our little victims was named "Slidey". He managed to slide back to his natural habitat unharmed- at least physically. I'm sure the worm therapists out there will manage a new client or two.

I love boys. I think I'd like a tea party every now and again, but worm hunts and tents and pirates are all pretty cool, too.

Welcome Spring {and I guess you worms are okay, too}!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A few pointers to myself in 1988

Dear 1988 self,
Here are a few quick pointers, so get out your Hello Kitty pad and pencil.

1. Do not stick your rear end out for any picture, any time. Even if you are holding a bat, this is bad form.

2. Never wear white on the bottom. We are pear shaped. You don't know what that is now, but just start investing in black pants and dark denim.

3. Quit letting your mother determine your hair style. The bowl will only work for so long. I realize that Mary Lou Retton brought in the bowl in 1984, but it is gone. So gone. This look works for no one except for pre-teen boys in the 2000s who flip it all the way around their head and will most likely have neck injuries from all their flippage.

4. We will not be flying in cars in the 2000s, so don't believe Back to the Future.

5. Kirk Cameron IS actually a good guy in real life. It's okay to have a crush on him as Mike Seaver in Growing Pains. Just know that you will never in a million years end up with him-or even meet him. Or Zak Morris. Or the guy from Silver Spoons. You WILL meet Bob Saget from Full House. But don't hold your breath.

Have a lovely softball game and try not to act like a goober, please. If we start trying now, maybe we'll work up to "graceful" in our 30s.

Or maybe not.

Monday, March 2, 2009

The Bachelor: The case of the incorrect pronoun usage and the overemotional man

I never watch The Bachelor. Ever. But apparently there was a girl from my city on this year and everyone I know has been watching. I think my minister even used a Bachelor reference in a sermon last week. So after Chuck was over tonight, I talked Jason into watching The Bachelor- The Final Rose- only because I’d like to be in the know at the supermarket.

Really. It’s that bad.

Here is the main thing I’m taking away from The Bachelor tonight: incorrect pronoun usage is running rampant. It is devastating. If someone could give it some background music and a closeup, I would be sadder about that than the “super secret After the Final Rose special” that I’m watching right now {how could he??}.

I’ve never admitted this before, because I don’t want to be held to this standard, but I am a grammar snob.

There. I said it.

Please don’t call me on my own mistakes because I am only human. BUT I do know the difference between, “There was always chemistry between Melissa and I” {INCORRECT} and “I hate to let Molly go, me and her had an amazing time” {INCORRECT}. Or “Melissa and Molly should run like heck from this loser.” {CORRECT} {Oh, what, no pronouns there?}

Hearing these make me cringe and I have to correct it out loud. I even sometimes do this at meetings. If you hear a muffled cough of “me” in the corner, that’s probably yours truly having to verbally white out the air that was tainted with horrible grammar. I have been yelling corrected pronouns at the TV screen since we’ve been watching. Ugh. And now, watching the After the Final Rose Special, I just hope that this guy goes to live on some island where they don’t care about grammar or flared nostrils. He’s awful.

The second thing I’ve learned is that they must only accept people who can cry at the mention of the words “rose ceremony” and/ or can “fall in love” with a stranger with television cameras following them. And then change their mind about that said stranger. Really? This is crazy! This guy is super-duper-wordy and over-the-top hormonal. If he says, “falling in love with you” one more time I might grab that rose and throw it at him- thorns first.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I like my men to be a little manlier than, say, someone who weeps openly in a designer suit, dramatically throwing himself over the edge of a waterfront mansion in New Zealand with quivering nostrils. I am reminded again of why I don’t watch The Bachelor.

BTW, Chris who hosts the Bachelor, has a hilarious blog post every week {I think?} for Entertainment Weekly. If you are into the Bachelor you should definitely read it. Coming from someone who is NOT into it {except now to have elementary, water-cooler knowledge}, I should tell you it’s all about the insider scoop and is awesome.

At least now I can join in on the buzz and be a part of a “historic” show.
It's about as historic as the fact that Jason fell asleep on the sofa 10 minutes into watching this. He didn’t even see the “dramatic” beginning, much less the ending.

I should have followed his lead.

He and I are definitely meant for each other {CORRECT}.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Mullet goes Bye-Bye

I first heard the term "mullet" from my friend, Alecia, around 2002-ish, I think. We were on a girls trip to the beach- pre-kids, but post husband- {is that how you classify things in your mind?}- and she pointed out a Mullet {you know- business in the front, party in the back?}.

We all laughed hysterically at the term and I distinctly remember my stomach muscles {I think I used to have those?} aching. We learned about all the different kinds of mullets at a website that's now down! I just checked- so sad. It was pretty offensive and UN-pc anyway, so that's alright.

I never thought the mullet would land right here in my own house, but sure enough, just as our first son had before, Henry was sporting a mullet. I think baby mullets are called mini-mullets. Whatever they are called, he had a fierce one- in a cute, baby sort of way. And we decided that it was time for it to go bye-bye tonight.

Here are the before shots:
Can I tell you that this cheez-it below was from afternoon snack... and we cut his hair after dinner?
During {yes, these are my kitchen scissors that also cut pizza}:
And AFTER!
All business here! No redneck baby parties, thankyouverymuch!Goodbye, Mullet! I'm sure you'll be back soon, but you are gone for now. Unfortunately, Henry looks like a little toddler now *sniff, sniff*. But at least his picture won't be posted on a redneck website anytime soon.
Well, at least not for the hair. Eating old snacks found in high chair, mother posting pictures of him shirtless and large baby pot belly are still possibilities.

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