Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A few pointers to myself in 1988

Dear 1988 self,
Here are a few quick pointers, so get out your Hello Kitty pad and pencil.

1. Do not stick your rear end out for any picture, any time. Even if you are holding a bat, this is bad form.

2. Never wear white on the bottom. We are pear shaped. You don't know what that is now, but just start investing in black pants and dark denim.

3. Quit letting your mother determine your hair style. The bowl will only work for so long. I realize that Mary Lou Retton brought in the bowl in 1984, but it is gone. So gone. This look works for no one except for pre-teen boys in the 2000s who flip it all the way around their head and will most likely have neck injuries from all their flippage.

4. We will not be flying in cars in the 2000s, so don't believe Back to the Future.

5. Kirk Cameron IS actually a good guy in real life. It's okay to have a crush on him as Mike Seaver in Growing Pains. Just know that you will never in a million years end up with him-or even meet him. Or Zak Morris. Or the guy from Silver Spoons. You WILL meet Bob Saget from Full House. But don't hold your breath.

Have a lovely softball game and try not to act like a goober, please. If we start trying now, maybe we'll work up to "graceful" in our 30s.

Or maybe not.


Susannah said...

WOW! I remember this kiddo! And double WOW, you met Bob Saget. How was he? He curses a whole lot when I've seen him on HBO, not the Danny Tanner I loved so much! :)

LeAnne said...

what a FUNNY post, hillary!!! i love it!!! such a cutie in 1988:) and still in 2009:)

annieck said...

Great look for you, Hil!
Hilarious post! Loved it!

Anonymous said...

I remember my precious little 10 year old daughter! What an angel!
You are such a cute little slugger! Love ya, Mom

CL said...

Too funny! I think i had the same haircut!!

Lindsey said...

please tell me that is a city drugs uniform?! LOVE IT! yes, i did read all your consignment tips and used most of them--i could not bring myself to iron. i'm sure that might come back to bite me, but i cannot STAND TO IRON!!! thanks again for all the info.

Laura said...

I am really disappointed about the lack of flying cars, by the way. And teletransporation...where's that?!

Carrie said...

Cute, cute, cute! Although your bangs are much shorter than the way the pre-teen boys wear them now.

Also a note to add about the white pants - you'll never want to wear them because they will never this white ever, ever again!

LOOK WHO'S MARRIED!!!! said...

Wow. Cute. You seriously look the same!

Lori said...

What a cute blog idea! I love it - it totally made me laugh. :)

Donna said...

Laughing out loud over here! Love the pic- I think you were adorable!

Sonia Parker said...

Great picture Hillary! You are absolutely adorable! ;-) I believed there would be flying cars and was so in love with Kirk too! Thanks for the flashback!

Shana said...

oh my gosh - HILARIOUS. you are too funny.

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