Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Favorite Preggers Questions

ATTENTION! ATTENTION!

AH CHUNG, BABY (or whatever all the warnings in 5 languages for parts for children under 3 have)!

Friday Favorites is taking a vacation this Friday. Because 1) I'm going to a wedding and will be OOT (that's out of town if you are not hip- I'm pretty sure I'm not because I just said "hip") and 2) my lovely and talented friend and blog designer Deanna will be plucking the eyebrows on this here blog over the weekend, so in case you did have a link, it wouldn't be working. Which would be a plum shame.
You get 2 weeks to think about your favorite thing and I can't wait to see them then!

: : : : : : : : :

I love being pregnant; really I do. I feel like I'm taking part in a miracle and it is awesome. I also realize that life now is MUCH EASIER than when the baby will arrive, so I'm thankful for this prep time.

But life as a pregnant woman has it's challenges (besides the no alcohol portion). The funniest thing to me is the way that people gawk look at you and then feel compelled- as if a magnetic field is making them- to ask you questions about your pregnancy.

Here are some of my "favorites":
1) What are you having?
I answered "a baby" to a very confused Staples check out girl last week. And went along my merry way.

Really, I wanted to do that, but then I felt guilty and told her I was just joking, etc.
Danggit- I wish I was meaner sometimes.

2) When are you due?
3) When are you due?
4) When are you due?

End of July.
End of July.
End of July.
(If it wasn't annoying as all get out I would type 42 of those here, but it's starting to feel like writing sentences.)

5) Are you excited?
How am I supposed to answer that? That is the oddest question to me. Of course you're excited. Nervous. Daily have the beJesus scared out of you wondering how in the world THREE children fit in that Target bus thing.
You know- normal thoughts.

6) How are you feeling?
The correct answer here is fine. The real answer would require 45 minutes of your time and several creams and demonstrations of their placements. Or a pull down map of the back to point of pressure points. None of us would prefer that.
Let's just go with "fine".

7) Are the boys excited?
They have no clue what's going on. They are 2 and 4 year old males who think "tomorrow" is 4 light years away, so 3 more months will never actually happen to them. I bet they think this is all made up and I just ate a basketball.

8) You have really gotten BIG!
Thanks for noticing. YOU, TOOOO!!!
(Again, if only I was mean.) What I usually respond to this (I get it A LOT) is "yes- that's how it happens" or something with a smile and a dagger.

I know I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: You don't have to ask a pregnant person about their pregnancy (especially their 3rd). They most likely want to talk about something else because a dozen people before you have asked all the same questions. And I KNOW people are happy for you, want to be excited with you, are oozing pink out of their ears with love and joy, etc.
But what did we talk about before I resembled a large pot-bellied pig?
Small talk is fine- honest. You can do it.

And if you touch my belly I touch yours. Those are the rules.

What is your "favorite" pregnancy question that you've heard?
Been asked?
Always try to avoid?

This post is linked to my pal Jill's Things I Love Thursday. I love her and you will, too. :)

27 comments:

The Incredible Shrinking Woman said...

People used to ask me what I wanted (referring to the sex).
I always told them I didn't care, as long as it was healthy with a head shaped like a bullet. ;)

Jessica said...

When people used to ask me "What are you having?" sometimes I would actually forget I was pregnant for a second and think they were asking me what I was having for lunch! I always had to say "I don't know" because we chose not to find out until she was born. Then they would give me this weird look until I just wanted to scream "DON'T PEOPLE DO THAT ANYMORE?!?" Honestly you would think it was unheard of not to know the sex of the baby. I think my own mother was suspicious that we knew and just didn't want to tell anybody. We didn't have a preference for boy or girl and we wanted it to be a surprise with our first baby. It was fun and now I'm glad we did it that way.

Irving Dunham said...

It sounds like someone is getting just a liiiitle tired of toting around the extra baggage. I guess that happens about this time during this blessed event. I already know what you're having, when she's going to be born, and I already know that you're just turning cart-wheels with excitement. I, and a few other folks, just want to know her name, especially since you have already poo-pooed my suggestion AND ploy to get her named after me. Hang in there, the best is yet to come. Oh, and the word is ACHTUNG, I thought you were trying to sneeze.

ShutterNinja said...

Whenever people found out I was pregnant with twins they would ask if they were natural... and I always wanted to tell them that they were alien beings implanted in my womb as an experiment. Of course they were natural!
My most annoying time was AFTER they were born. I would be a rich woman if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me how I tell them apart. Once I told the 25,000 asker of the day that I just picked one up every morning and guessed. Then I walked away.

Phillips Phamily Mama said...

When I found out we're having our THIRD girl, the thing I dreaded the most was THIS question: "SO, are you going to try again for a boy?"

I'm starting to realize that I'm going to be a mom of three girls, and I like it. So far. Working on a post all about it.

I used to do the whole "I'm having a baby" thing, too.

Ivy said...

Honestly it's the breastfeeding question. I had a reduction several years ago and I have some pretty serious "sensitivity" and Im just not sure I will be able to breastfeed. But, I still feel so judged when I say that Im probably not going that route.

Kaycee said...

"When are you due?"
"This Saturday."
"OH! Are you SURE?"

No lady I had no idea when I was due! Wha??? :) I carried REALLY small and really did not look pregnant until a couple days before my due date. My neighbor did not even know I was pregnant. I mostly just looked fat (unless you knew me pretty well and KNEW I was pregnant I guess). I didn't have to deal with the belly touching though!

Allison said...

I hate when people ask, when are you due at the end. You tell them in 4 weeks, their eyes get huge, and they say something rude like, wow, you're big. Or I thought it would be sooner, you look like you're going to pop. Grrrrrr…

Also hate the belly touching thing. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean that personal space goes out the window. In fact, it probably got larger.

mary bailey said...

My "favorite" question (as in this was the dumbest one) was when I had to ask a cashier to please pull my buggy forward because I could not squeeze through the space between the buggy and the candy rack to get to the check-out. She said, "Are you pregnant?"

Yes! I was 6 months pregnant! But what if I hadn't been?

Angela Pea said...

LOL! When I was pregnant with our 'suprise' fourth child (less than a year after the third!) I became so frustrated with the incredibly rude question, "You do know what causes that, don't you?".

Of all the unmitigated gall - YES! WE KNOW HOW TO MAKE BABIES!! And as you can see, we are very good at it, since we've successfully made FOUR OF THEM....mwahahahaha!!

Kelly said...

I am tall, not amazon tall but taller than average .. anyway, as a result, I carried my babies hip to hip and didn't show until well into my 3rd trimester with either baby.

Baby #1 was 2 weeks overdue, we had a windstorm and lost power, all the neighbors were outside as this was the end of July and it was HOT!
Neighbor: When are you due?
Me: Last week
Neighbor: are you sure?
Me: positive (wanted to say would you like to know conception date? but refrained from being the b*tchy pregnant lady)

Baby #2, about 6 months along .. we had a fire on the shop floor at work. Everyone was evacuated and my baby was doing karate kicks while the alarms were going off
Me: My baby really doesn't like all this noise
Co-worker: You're pregnant?
Me: Yes
Co-worker: When are you due?
Me: November 6th
Co-worker: I thought you had gained weight
Me: Thankyouverymuch

Even though I didn't have a baby bump right away, once I told people I was pregnant .. they instantly touched my belly. Seriously, is that necessary?

Jenny said...

I remember with #1 when I was probably about 2 weeks from delivering and the butcher at Publix said, "are you having triplets?" I really wanted to smack him. My hubby happened to be with me, and he was shocked as well. He hadn't been exposed to all the rude, intruding questions up to this point. I still go to Publix, though.

I also found that after the usual questions of "what are you having" and "when are you due" came the "what are you naming him/her" and I would always refuse to tell. That really frustrated a lot of people! I got into an argument with a lady in the airport because she really wanted to know the name, so she started trying to get me to tell her the first initial, etc so she could guess! I mean, what does it really matter to complete strangers what the baby's name is??

Ok, all of that plus the obvious belly-touching thing. Sometimes I wanted to wear a sign that said MOVE AWAY FROM THE BELLY!

Good luck, Hill! Just a little longer.. :)

Anna said...

It's hard to pick just one rude question :) Once I got about 25 weeks with my twins, I looked full term, so when I told people I wasn't due for another 3 months, their eyes got really big. Some even said, "you're not going to make it!" Yes, I realize I'm gigantic - would you like to carry this around for me? Just get out of my way before I sit on you.
But it hasn't gotten any better and they're 9 months old now. "You're not breastfeeding them, are you?" Seriously? how is that your business, first of all, and actually I did, thank you. We cause a spectacle EVERYwhere we go. EVERY stares and asks all kinds of ridiculous questions. I guess my favorite (even from friends) is, "Well, I guess you're done then?" I LOVE seeing their faces when I say, "We would love to have twin girls next."

p.s. I'm http://sarahcj81.blogspot.com/ 's sister

Melissa Stover said...

when you get to #4 they'll ask you don't you know what causes that?

The Diaper Diaries said...

I was going to write something profound and interesting but then I read the comments from two of your readers that they didn't really "show" until their third trimester and now I just want to curl into the fetal position and cry.

I "pop" and need maternity clothes pretty much the moment that I pee on that stick.

The Titsworth Family said...

You worded everything so perfectly! I agree that after the 1st pregnancy those questions get a little old and I didn't want to be bothered everytime I left the house. One thing that always irked me and still does is when you tell people that you have a boy and a girl and they go on to gush "oh 1 of each, how perfect!" Geez Louise, that really bothers me. People still say that all.the.stinkin.time and it drives me bonkers. *rant over*

Megan said...

I am 35 weeks pregnant now and a man in my office asked me last week if I was sure that I was not having "a litter."

We're having our second girl and I constantly get asked if I am disappointed, if we were "trying" for a boy, if we're going to "try again" for a boy, etc. I can't stand that. Every single baby is a blessing.

Melanie said...

I like it at the beginning of pregnancy before you've had the opportunity to learn the sex of the baby when people ask, "Are you going to find out if you're having a boy or a girl?" That's when you realize that for the rest of your parenting life, you will have to choose a side on EVERYTHING, and regardless of your reasons, someone from the other camp will be passionately opposed to your decision. And usually at least one of those people exists within your immediate family.

Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said...

Oooh, I can't wait to see your newly plucked blog face!

Elizabeth Abney said...

"Third time's a charm." or "Better luck next time." I am astounded at the number of people that think those are appropriate responses to finding out that we are having a second daughter.

Stephanie B said...

I think I must have been sooooo lucky because I only had one person touch my pregnant belly and she ASKED first. I don't remember too many rude questions, although I'm sure there must have been a few because I was the size of a double wide. When I was pregnant with our one and only, I was working in a nursing home. And I used to lead drum circles for the old folks (I say that with much endearment and love). The little old ladies used to always ask me if playing the big drum next to my belly woke up the baby--- it never did, not ONCE. (And it was a big drum!) The little old ladies were always so cute about my pregnancy. They had some of the strangest old wives tales and such.... We once had a whole discussion about what you can do to "order up" the gender of the baby. Quite fascinating! The most annoying questions for me came afterwards--- like wasn't it great that I got put on bed rest and could start maternity leave early (well, NO, I mean have you watched daytime tv lately!?!?) and the guilt about not nursing (hey, when the baby REFUSES (have you met my child? you want to argue with her??). And I've perfected the intense stare while answering, "why, no, we're not having another baby. Aren't we having lovely weather lately???" :-)

And for the record, you're one of the loveliest pregnant women I've seen! I promise to try my best to not annoy you with irritating questions the next few months. :-)

amy said...

I am due with my fourth in June. People do say the darndest things. Like my neighbor who has said about 5 or 6 times. WOW! you ARE definitely BIGGER with this one.

ummmm hello... Do people think pregnant women don't have feelings!? grrrrr...

Karen said...

I never had a belly touching, but was asked if I had talked to my Dr about episiotomy...by a stranger!! After that TMI (see - I am hip too!), all of those other questions were nothing.

The Reno Family said...

Currently in my second pregnancy (also due the end of July!) it was not a question, but more of a comment. I was only 3 months pregnant and really not showing yet. "You have that maternity glow and the rounding of the face to go with it!" WHAT??? No one wants to hear that their face is "rounding"!

One another note, here is a shirt you might think about purchasing...maybe then you won't have to answer with "FINE". http://www.cafepress.com/+how_im_doing_maternity_dark_ts,260969646

Holly said...

Once, I had a waitress (who I did not know) reach down and touch my belly WHILE I WAS EATING. I lost my appetite immediately.

And when people made the joke a trillion times about "you know what's causing this don't you" since we've had five in six years, I started saying, "Yep. That's our problem. We can't get enough of each other." You should have seen the look on our pastor's face when I said that to him. I thought it was only fitting.

And, I've been meaning to ask, "Do y'all have a name picked out yet?" :-) I hate that one too.

Lauren said...

I love this! You are soooo right and this is sooo true!

Ashleigh (Heart and Home) said...

I love the whole "Are you sure there's only one baby in there?" deal. Or, "You look ready to pop!"

Yes, thank you, I know I'm huge, but it's not your job to remind me. Kthanxbye.

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