Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Becoming a Soccer Mom in 8 Easy Steps

Hold on to your minivans, my peeps! We are going to explore the wild and wooly world of kids’ soccer. After 3 seasons of soccer with Ollie, this was the first season that I had my chance as team mom.

How did that happen, you ask?

We forgot to register and when I went down to beg to be on a team, the director told me the only way we could be on a team was if my husband or I coached.
I said, “Sure thing. That’s spelled J-A-S-O-N D-U…”

So, my sweet hubs kindly obliged, but that kinda forced me into being the team mom. And I learned a lot, so it's only fitting to share my vast knowledge with you.

8 Easy Steps to Becoming a Soccer Mom
{No Minivan Required}
Part 1 of 2

1. Snacks = SoccerAs the team mom, my main job was to coordinate people via e-mail and phones if a game was cancelled and organize team snacks. I had a sign up list at our first practice and each family was responsible for snacks for one game.
Team Towel
These children cannot be expected to play for 30 straight minutes without nourishment. Our team took a break at "halftime". There must be a juice box {or 12} within a 30 yard radius of the field at all times.

2. Team TowelThe bleachers around our field are filled with parents so I decided to start taking a huge towel for the kids who weren’t playing to sit on.

It also doubles as a time out towel if a certain player knocks down his brother for no good reason.
Time out towel

3. Pawn off younger siblings if, at all possible
I spent a good majority of my time chasing Henry off the field. He wants to play on the team so badly he can taste it. We either traipsed back and forth to the playground and traded duties with Aunt Carrie or I was glued to him and had a view something like this.
Cling on
He is not trying to hold on to me; he is trying to get me to let go of him.
There are things to tear up and he can’t be burdened by the likes of me.
{Watch was a gift from Other Mama still available from Brighton. Hips are from lack of exercise and years of sneaking chocolate covered cherries.}

4. Try to avoid fields near air patternI realize this is not possible in all situations- say, like ours- but it really does add some length to your game. With our 3 and 4 year olds, the game comes to a complete halt, and they all look like Tattoo in Fantasy Island yelling, “The Plane! The Plane!”
Look! Da Plane! Da Plane!

OK! Half time! Go get your Rice Krispy Treat and juice box and meet me back here tomorrow for the second half of 8 Easy Steps to Becoming a Soccer Mom!
I promise I will not make you get a bowl haircut or a magnet with your child's name on the back of your van to participate. But that would be some extreme dedication and worthy of supreme soccer mom-hood.
I'm not there, yet.

taste of the control

13 comments:

The Incredible Shrinking Woman said...

It's really sad, but Matt and I are not "sporting" people. Plus 'round here in these parts, soccer is a way for parents to scream and get arrested. (Not even kidding.) We opted for music lessons and showchoir, which fills my hopes for a Glee-ful future. (We are going to homeschool starting in Jr High on... so apparently I am going to have to parent the Partridge family.)
I'll manage a band better than I would a soccer team. Proving once again that you are superwoman! (Love the pic of your little man trying to pry your clutch off him. That is a good hold, unless you forget to trim your kid's fingernails, speaking from experience.)

Melizzard said...

#4 oh that was great ... and I really really needed that giggle this morning.

Ashley said...

LOL, love it! and I so know where you are coming from! I bet you did a great job as team mom and maybe we will get on a team again soon, but looks like we are skipping out on soccer. FYI, Basketball is starting, sign ups go unil Nov. 22nd, let me know if you interested, email me and I'll give you the info and the team we plan to be on!
Ashley
ashleyandcraig@msn.com

Tami said...

Thanks for reminding me of the things I don't miss about the younger mommy years :) Although the memories of my daughter leaping down the field behind her team mates and then stopping to pick the wild flower growing in the middle of the field while the opposing team came back up the field almost running her down still cracks me up.

And Brighton is my favorite!

Bobbi Janay @When did I go from a kid to a grown up? said...

I can't wait to be a Baseball Mom, I love baseball.

Unreasonable Grace said...

I picked up on Henry's expression pretty quick. I KNEW that kid wasn't happy being tethered to you at that moment! Come ON, Mom! You're such a DRAG!

kim

Jenny said...

addendum to #3: or send Henry over to another kids field, 'cause he'll want to play over there, too! More than likely someone you know will be on that soccer field, and get Henry back to the proper place. :) I'm still laughing about that one, the cute, sneaky little guy..

Susannah said...

You REALLY crack me up! Henry looks like Anderson, trying to get me to let go of him. And I died laughing at "hips courtesy of years of sneaking chocolate covered cherries" HAHA!! And I can see how an airplane would stop the game...they're pretty cool!

Elizabeth said...

What I love about little kids playing soccer is how they are all magnetized to the ball by some supernatural force. They clump and run, clump and run like a pack of crazed dust bunnies.

mary bailey said...

This was so funny! Ours will be starting his sixth season of basketball in a couple months and for once my hubs is taking a break from coaching---which means I don't have to be team mom! Yay!

Four years of soccer? Has he been playing since birth?

Tina said...

So funny, our baseball park is right next to the local airport and it used to really cause a mess in the outfield. Now that we are in 10 year old ball, it is nothing but business. No humming plane will break their concentration!!

Katie said...

Funny! Hey the mini-van is not such a bad move....said I never would and had to give in last year when #3 made her entrance and we had three carseats. I love it with a passion - slidey doors, leather everything, 37 cupholders!!!!!, DVD, moon roof, installed garage opener.....lurve it!!!! Honda Odyssey, one of the best investments we ever made. The thing still smells new even though it's had lots of smells that should have worn that "new car" smell down. The only thing it can't do is toast up some poptarts, but I'm sure they're working on it.

viagra online said...

LOL, love it! and I so know where you are coming from! I bet you did a great job as team mom and maybe we will get on a team again soon, but looks like we are skipping out on soccer. FYI, Basketball is starting, sign ups go unil Nov. 22nd, let me know if you interested, email me and I'll give you the info and the team we plan to be on!
Ashley

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