Girl- It's a Four Letter Word

Here's the honest truth: I'm terrified of having a girl.

There. I said it.

As much and I am thankful for your warm wishes and kind words, all mentions of glitter, sparkle and tu-tus scare me silly.

This might sound like Captain Obvious, but I KNOW I am a girl. The issue is that I was never really "girly". I mean, my 6 year old birthday party was a makeup party like everyone else's, but I've never been one for princesses and unicorns.
Well, not unless Lisa Frank's designs had that on her Trapper Keeper and then I was all over it.

In no particular order, here are the
Top Ten Reasons I'm Concerned Scared out of my Mind about Raising a Girl:

1. Drama
I'm pretty sure girls come with their fair share of drama. I have never liked it- not even when it was cool in high school. It made me nervous and sweaty.
There is nothing worse than, "Oh my gosh. Do you think she said that about me? I'm totally going to ask Tiffany if she heard from her cousin in the locker room that she said that. I am going to be Soooooo upset. I think I'll have to move to a different state if that happened."
Et cetera.
Ugh. I think I'm sweating a little bit now just thinking about it.

2. Bowl Cuts
I believe it has been well-documented here that I sported a lovely bowl cut from ages 2-11 {some might say 12, but them's fightin' words}.
But I will give my mom some slack. This bowl below around age 2 was even before Mary Lou Retton made it famous; she was ahead of the times. {She has no excuse for this one, though.}

What I won't stop cracking up about is that, I look terrified to be in this picture myself!
And, for some reason, the picture came with a whole set of 18 different sizes still together on the original sheet. I can't believe she didn't hand these gems out!
Who doesn't love a red- faced, crying, bowl cut baby with orange eyes? It's all so natural. Especially with the forest out the window there.

I hearby promise, pledge and swear to do my very best to keep my sweet girl away from all haircuts resembling cutlery, serving dishes or any piece of a place setting.

3. Perms with Bowl Cuts
This only adds insult to injury.
I think this version of the bowl is clearly outlined in this previous birthday post.

4. Boys
Oh my word. At least she'll have 2 older brothers to give us the scoop on boys.
Hopefully by 2025, we can require fingerprints and background checks on all potential dates.
I don't think that's too much to ask, do you?

She will also not be allowed to fly away in a car with ANYONE. Period. Only Danny and Sandy and Marty McFly should be able to do that.

5. Peer Pressure
Am I biased, or do you think this is worse for girls? We work with the youth at our church and I'm just praying that our kids have a tight-knit group like them at church when they are in high school. Even if they do, though, that stupid peer pressure will still be out there to do crazy things like get their ears pierced, dance with boys and cut the bottoms of their jeans.

And there might even be worse things, too.

6. Clothes
I bought one outfit today for our little girl and was completely overwhelmed at the selection!
This is what you people were talking about! There are endless flowers, ladybugs, polka dots, sunshines, hearts, pinkPinkPINK everywhere.
Boys just have shirts and shorts.

Oh no. Not girls.

I think I'm going to need a chart to figure this out. Any tips/ favorite brands/ websites/ best practices would be completely appreciated!

7. Prom Date
I know; it's a little early to worry about it, but I'm very concerned that there will come a time when a prom dress is needed.
And I might let her sucker me into a royal blue sequin prom dress that casts the light of a disco ball all around her the whole night at prom.
Not that I know anything about that.

As you can see, dates were fuzzed out to protect the innocent.
And this high school boyfriend of mine works on Capitol Hill, so I don't want to ruin any potential political careers with my dress selection. {I'm not even going to touch the shoes that were died to match. And if I recall correctly, no one should have touched them because they turned my skin blue.}

If you know who this is, just snicker happily to yourself with that knowledge and don't write it in the comment section, okay? Google is a mighty, powerful tool and will hunt down the tiniest remarks in the comments.

As a matter of fact, I think Google should be in charge of airline screening. They seem to know more about me than I do about myself.

8, 9, and 10. Hormones, Hormones, Hormones
I was really hoping I would be the only one around here to be tortured get to deal with these, but apparently I will share the wealth at some point in time.
I really don't wish this on anyone, but at least we can go through it together; I'm sure we'll be BEST of friends when she is in middle school.
'Cause that's how it works.

What am I missing here?
Arguments about what clothes to wear? Or blow drying hair?
Finding tights/ bloomers/ brain squishers to match each outfit?
I need the scoop, friends. I need to be as prepared as possible!

Hop on over to my friend Amanda's Top Ten Tuesday at Oh Amanda to join in the fun!