Monday, February 22, 2010

Girl- It's a Four Letter Word

Here's the honest truth: I'm terrified of having a girl.

There. I said it.

As much and I am thankful for your warm wishes and kind words, all mentions of glitter, sparkle and tu-tus scare me silly.

This might sound like Captain Obvious, but I KNOW I am a girl. The issue is that I was never really "girly". I mean, my 6 year old birthday party was a makeup party like everyone else's, but I've never been one for princesses and unicorns.
Well, not unless Lisa Frank's designs had that on her Trapper Keeper and then I was all over it.

In no particular order, here are the
Top Ten Reasons I'm Concerned Scared out of my Mind about Raising a Girl:

1. Drama
I'm pretty sure girls come with their fair share of drama. I have never liked it- not even when it was cool in high school. It made me nervous and sweaty.
There is nothing worse than, "Oh my gosh. Do you think she said that about me? I'm totally going to ask Tiffany if she heard from her cousin in the locker room that she said that. I am going to be Soooooo upset. I think I'll have to move to a different state if that happened."
Et cetera.
Ugh. I think I'm sweating a little bit now just thinking about it.

2. Bowl Cuts
I believe it has been well-documented here that I sported a lovely bowl cut from ages 2-11 {some might say 12, but them's fightin' words}.
But I will give my mom some slack. This bowl below around age 2 was even before Mary Lou Retton made it famous; she was ahead of the times. {She has no excuse for this one, though.}
Hillary baby pic
What I won't stop cracking up about is that, I look terrified to be in this picture myself!
And, for some reason, the picture came with a whole set of 18 different sizes still together on the original sheet. I can't believe she didn't hand these gems out!
Who doesn't love a red- faced, crying, bowl cut baby with orange eyes? It's all so natural. Especially with the forest out the window there.

I hearby promise, pledge and swear to do my very best to keep my sweet girl away from all haircuts resembling cutlery, serving dishes or any piece of a place setting.

3. Perms with Bowl Cuts
This only adds insult to injury.
I think this version of the bowl is clearly outlined in this previous birthday post.

4. Boys
Oh my word. At least she'll have 2 older brothers to give us the scoop on boys.
Hopefully by 2025, we can require fingerprints and background checks on all potential dates.
I don't think that's too much to ask, do you?

She will also not be allowed to fly away in a car with ANYONE. Period. Only Danny and Sandy and Marty McFly should be able to do that.

5. Peer Pressure
Am I biased, or do you think this is worse for girls? We work with the youth at our church and I'm just praying that our kids have a tight-knit group like them at church when they are in high school. Even if they do, though, that stupid peer pressure will still be out there to do crazy things like get their ears pierced, dance with boys and cut the bottoms of their jeans.

And there might even be worse things, too.

6. Clothes
I bought one outfit today for our little girl and was completely overwhelmed at the selection!
This is what you people were talking about! There are endless flowers, ladybugs, polka dots, sunshines, hearts, pinkPinkPINK everywhere.
Boys just have shirts and shorts.

Oh no. Not girls.

I think I'm going to need a chart to figure this out. Any tips/ favorite brands/ websites/ best practices would be completely appreciated!

7. Prom Date
I know; it's a little early to worry about it, but I'm very concerned that there will come a time when a prom dress is needed.
And I might let her sucker me into a royal blue sequin prom dress that casts the light of a disco ball all around her the whole night at prom.
Not that I know anything about that.
Hill Jr Prom PIc
As you can see, dates were fuzzed out to protect the innocent.
And this high school boyfriend of mine works on Capitol Hill, so I don't want to ruin any potential political careers with my dress selection. {I'm not even going to touch the shoes that were died to match. And if I recall correctly, no one should have touched them because they turned my skin blue.}

If you know who this is, just snicker happily to yourself with that knowledge and don't write it in the comment section, okay? Google is a mighty, powerful tool and will hunt down the tiniest remarks in the comments.

As a matter of fact, I think Google should be in charge of airline screening. They seem to know more about me than I do about myself.

8, 9, and 10. Hormones, Hormones, Hormones
I was really hoping I would be the only one around here to be tortured get to deal with these, but apparently I will share the wealth at some point in time.
I really don't wish this on anyone, but at least we can go through it together; I'm sure we'll be BEST of friends when she is in middle school.
'Cause that's how it works.

What am I missing here?
Arguments about what clothes to wear? Or blow drying hair?
Finding tights/ bloomers/ brain squishers to match each outfit?
I need the scoop, friends. I need to be as prepared as possible!

Hop on over to my friend Amanda's Top Ten Tuesday at Oh Amanda to join in the fun!

34 comments:

Bobbi Janay @When did I go from a kid to a grown up? said...

You will survive, you will come out a little stronger, with a little less in your bank account (girls are expensive, and whole lotta love. It is all worth it.

Jenn McPherson said...

You are hands down, the funniest person I know!! Seriously. BTW, I have the same exact photo (minus the bowl cut, mom saved that one for my sister...my hair was curly) and girl, we dyed EVERY pair of shoes I had with my "special occasion" dresses. HAD TO BE EXACT!! Oh my...

Dawn said...

it is okay ot admit it. i was terrified to have a boy. in fact, the dr told me it wasa boy and i immediately went into denial and just knew he had made a mistake. ummm, yeah. i think there is no mistaking when they see boy :) but you know what? turns out he is one of the biggest blessings in my life... and i would be so much less without him!
as for all your girl fears... thanks for cracking me up! yes. you are hysterical! and yes. there will be hormones and hair drying and clothes shopping... and ponies and unicorns. but i think you are going to be just great. yep. i do.

Carrie said...

Um...hello? I was nowhere NEAR a girly girl growing up, and now I have two. And you've seen the princess explosion at my house.

The best advice someone gave me is just take it one step at a time. The drama you deal with at 3 will prepare you for the drama at 6 which will prepare you for the drama at 10 and so on...

At least we'll have each other to lean on!!

Anonymous said...

Well, there's just too much to say about girls. M is only 8 and starting the hormone drama thing. It's terrible. So much drama and sensitivity. I look forward to days when she is older and weasier (I hope) to talk to. My girl has never, ever been girly. No bows, jewels or frou-frou clothes. She doesn't even brush the back of her hair right now! So, maybe with two older brothers, your little queen will not be so girly. You'll just have to wait and see!

Suz said...

Girls are awesome! The clothes selection is overwhelming, yes, but if you cut out everything with a tutu attached, your choices become more manageable.

I also wanted to say--I have that EXACT same sequined dress from the first prom picture, only it was in teal (with shoes died to match that ALSO turned my feet teal). So I had to laugh this morning. Thanks. :)

Anonymous said...

Don't forget shaving their legs, the monthly demon, and of course make up and nail polish on every surface in the house!

But, my daughter is 13 now, and I wouldn't change it for the world! You will do great!

Rachel @ CrazyTown said...

Hillary I agree to take it all in stride. I have 2 girls with one boy in the middle. My girls are completely different. Both are tom boy-ish but the oldest loves to dress up and be girly. Youngest could care less, even brushing her hair is an ordeal. You really won't know what you have until she can speak, scream and yell that she will not wear that dress or she want's the sparkly shoes. Don't be overwhelmed by clothes. Pick out pieces you like too. You can get simple pieces even now, no tutu's needed unless you want it. And yes girls are more expensive but I know you like the consignment sales so you will be set!! And I feel hormones do start a little earlier. I've been dealing with hormones/drama/emotions since Isabel was 5, you learn to deal with it. But I'll say all the things you like to do that the boys and your husband don't then you can take your daughter and that is wonderful!! Hope that helps.

Rachel @ CrazyTown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kathy @ House of Hills said...

I was in SERIOUS denial when the doctor told me I was going to have a girl. SERIOUS DENIAL!! I am a girl and I've never understood them. NEVER. Still don't to some degree.

However, my Princess is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. She brings out my girly side - we even get our nails done together. However, because I'm not that into clothes, she's not that into clothes. THANK GOD! And, I hope it stays that way. She's happy with jeans and a t-shirt.

She's only seven, and there is drama and emotion, but it's tempered with utter sweetness. Not sure what will happen when she hits puberty, but it's going to be an interesting ride.

I'm thinking God gave her to me so that someday I may understand the female species.

Tara said...

Okay, the clothes. Start early the season before so you don't have to buy in one big lump (cha ching) to get cute clothes. I buy a little each month the season before. I mix it up with Kissy Kissy for pj's and a few play clothes. You will pay $$, but if you buy the clothes 6 months bigger, she can still wear them for a long while, and they wash really well. I am able to get stains out of this material I thought wouldn't be possible.
Also, Little Lavender is a great website for buying consignment clothes. There's not always a great selection but I check it once a month or so. I also send some clothes there to consign. They give you half. It's located in B'ham. www.littlelavender.com
I do buy 2-3 dresses per season. That's really all you need for church if she is only wearing it once a week, or every 3 weeks. I focus more on cute shirts and matching shorts that she can truly get some wear out of for a few months. It's so funny that the thought of buying her jeans just makes me cringe at this point. I'm such a clothes snob.
I do fill in with pants and shirts from Target for daycare. You can get one outfit for $8. Can't beat that!
It is sooo much fun!! You are going to have a ball!!

Shelly @ Life on the Wild Side said...

You know I have a LOT to say on this topic, having three girls myself and loving about 99% of it (this morning being the 1% exception). So I think I'll answer your hesitations one by one.

1. Drama. Just buy yourself a membership to the Thespian Society of America. You'll need it.

2. Bowl Cuts. Thank goodness long hair is in. Just put it in a ponytail and you're good to go. For the next 18 years. Seriously.

3. Perms with Bowl Cuts. See above.

4. Boys. I honestly have no clue about them. Never will. Just pray your girl is like mine and have sworn off boys through high school. And remind her often that there's nobody good enough for her. Nobody.

5. Peer Pressure. Honey, if the only thing your daughter wants to pierce is her ear, I'd say you've got it good. Just be firm with the boundaries you set.

6. Clothes. Don't worry about the pink--she may not like pink at all. And then you can just put her in her brothers' clothes for the first five years. :)

On a serious note, please, I beg you, talk to your daughter about clothes and what's appropriate and what's not. Too many girls (Christian girls, too!) don't know what it means to dress modestly . . . or else they don't care. It's a big deal.

7. Prom Date. See #4 above.

8, 9, and 10. Hormones. Trust me. Hormones start around age 8, even if one certain thing is lacking. And then you can be assured that you'll be back to square 1 with the drama.

You're going to be just fine, Hillary. Just take a deep breath, walk away when you have to (like I did this morning), and enjoy the ride. I absolutely LOVE my teenagers--they are wonderful. Don't trust anyone who says teenage girls are a pain. It's all in what you make it.

Sarah said...

most of your worries are about girls when they are teenagers, you have years to prepare, it will be all good, besides with brothers things might not be so bad. girl clothes are fun and girls are so sweet, especially when they love their "babies."

Adventure Mom Janna said...

You are forgetting about the moment you first hold your daughter and realize that you would deal with a list of 1-100 if it meant getting to be her mother for the rest of your life.

I have a girl and I'm living the good life for sure.

Hoping all your fears will be put to rest soon, but they do make for a good laugh! ")

Nice meeting you at Blissdom!

Mandi @ It'scome2this said...

You are too funny!!! I feel I fail my daughter every day because she doesn't wear a matching hair bow with every outfit ... it's just not in me:(

Lynn said...

Hillary,

I can just send you one of my 3 and you can determine after oh about an hour how much fun or how scared to be! M is 9 and has been a drama queen since day 1 who complains every day that there is NOTHING to wear standing in a closet overflowing with clothes, V is my tomboy who loves getting dirty and doesn't car what she wears, and A, well she will outwit you in 2 seconds flat and is a diva in disquise!

Each and every single girl is completely different in each and every way! Some days I want to scream and run away but most days are fun and full of laughter!

Congrats again!

Elizabeth said...

Hillary, here's the great thing is that they start really small just like the boys and you take it one day at a time. I have a friend that has 3 boys and was TERRIFIED to have a girl. So far the first 3 months have been wonderful:) Don't go too crazy on the clothes-friends and fam. will do that for you. The best advice for girls clothes I have is to have plenty of cute (not onesie) white shirts go go with everything in case you can't find a matching shirt. Take a deep breath and you will be awesome!

Diana said...

It will all come naturally. I don't go out of my way to do curly stuff with Cate, we just let things flow. It's funny how she gravitates toward certain things. My parents got her a Hello Kitty Beanie Babie for Valentine's Day and she instantly fell in love with it (Kitty...Kitty...).
As for clothes, I love Carter's, Old Navy, and Target. But I would say that about boy's clothes, too. See, they're not so different!
Now, I don't even want to think about puberty. *shudder* I'm glad we have a boy going through that first and who will hopefully be a protective older brother.

Ashley said...

ATTITUDE. Be prepared for LOTS of it! :) (And mine's only 3yo!)

oh amanda said...

We can help each other out. My first is a girl and my 2nd a boy. He scares me. I don't know anything about boys...what do they DO in locker rooms? how do they talk to girls? do they HAVE to talk to girls? do they LIKE their moms? or just pretend to like their moms b/c they really like their dads better? will they like being with me when I hate sports, dirt and animals?

SRSLY. I worry about being a mom of a boy. Help me and I'll help you. Being a girl mom is a cinch. Just pretend she's you.

Eve said...

You'll do fine. As far as clothes goes, though, this is where your consignment shopping expertise is going to come in handy. To me, it is the only way to go. Let somebody else pay the big bucks for the cute clothes, then you buy them from them!

Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said...

You will be fine.

But the hair. I think that's a valid concern. It may have kept me up at night already. Because I have yet to control MY hair; how am I supposed to help my daughter with hers???

Seriously, I really, REALLY did NOT want a daughter. The women in my family are notoriously crazy and mothers/daughters do not have good relationships. Plus, I actually am NOT girly. (You, my friend, are GIRLYYYYYY. Just own it. You are. I saw your luggage. You are.)

You will be fine. But if it's any help at all, I'll be here to tell you all the fun things you have to look forward to - like 2-year-old drama queens who are obsessed with princesses and insist on wearing PINK every single day of their lives. :)

Anonymous said...

Hillary,
My prayer is that your new little girl will give you as much pleasure and love as you have given us!!
The unconditional love & understanding will be natural---Remember what "Other Mama" used to say, "The instructions come with 'em!!"
You'll be the greatest!!
Love ya, Mom

Allison said...

I would feel the same way about raising a girl, especially in the high school OGM years. You'll survive. Probably with a good bottle of wine in one hand some chocolate in the other. LOL.

Mandy said...

Congratulations on your newest addition!

I was relieved when I found out I was haivng a girl... Boys are what scare me! Really, how does one potty train someone with different parts?
N provides plenty of drama, and she's only three, but the constant "Is Lauren going to wear a dress to daycare? Is Lauren going to wear pants to daycare? What's Lauren eating for breakfast? Does Lauren read one or two books? etc. etc. etc " is worth it.

She seems to be more of a nurturer then most of the little boys we know. More empathetic as well...

A sweet little girl is enough to make even the most anti-pink person give in!

One other thing... the companies that make tights for little girls lie! N is still wearing 9-18month size, and she is a full sized three year old!

Rebekah said...

You crack me up! Trust me, as the mom of 9 year old boy he can act just like a teenage girl sometimes. Yours are still little, give them time. :)

Staci said...

Unfortunately I don't have any advice as I don't have any kids.

I am a girl though!

You'll be fine! Can't wait to hear all the stories once little baby girl gets here :)

BB Tucker said...

Lordy, Hillary! I got words. Word for ya. Please don't mind that an elderly mother of a friend of yours is writing. I got time and fingers.
First, this little girl is sooo gonna wrap your heart up and tie it in a pink bow that I just can't find the words to tell you how much.
Second, you are about to birth your best friend for the rest of you life. Boys do guy things when they are not tots. They will end up going with Dad and the boys...and later, just the boys. I know, you are already tearing up. But it's true. And we won't even touch on when they get married. You'd start bawling sure 'nuff.
Third: All those cute pictures you have of yourself playing ball, cheering, prom....you get to do all that again. Just with your angel girl! For me it was like doing adolescence and teen years the first time...and not well. Then, with my wisdom of Soloman that came later...getting to do it again with Donna! I did it better that time :)
You are going to be so ga-ga you will embarrass youself. Right. You embarrass yourself now. But...more. It will definitely be more. I'm so happy for you all!
BB Tucker

Heather said...

HILLARY, I can't get over how funny this was ... Lisa Frank trapper keeper?!!!!! HAAHA! xoxo

Holly said...

I love seeing in your prom pic that you too wore hose that were 3 shades darker than they needed to be. Why did we do that?? Denial of our true tone or what??
This post was hilarious, and like they all said above... you will be fine. Girls are so much fun! Wouldn't know what to do in this testosterone filled house without my daughter. We LOVE some GNOs too. So special.

LizzieV. said...

I'm with @Elizabeth about letting "other people" buy all the cute clothes. They will, you know they will. I tell the grandmas, "She's fine with clothes, really," and more show up. I swear, DLG has more clothes than me, some she's only worn once. And guess that's the same with every baby girl, 'cause you can find TONS of good girl stuff secondhand. Yes, more plain t-shirts; if the boys have any they haven't worn-out, use those. I put quite a bit of big-brother's stuff on DLG, just for a change.

Ask me again in 8 years about the hormones, and I'll likely pass you that bottle of wine & the box of chocolates; DLG is SO mini-me. And I remember what a hormonal drama queen I was. (Was? Wait, still am once a month. Better put wine & chocolate on the shopping list....)

Jeannie said...

Awww, don't stress too much! I felt the same way when I found out I was having a girl, and now with three ages 13, 11 and 2, it really isn't that bad. Don't get me wrong, there is drama and tears, but the giggles and that special bond between mother and daughter make up for it. I STILL have no clue how to "play" barbies, house, or anything make-believe that doesn't have to deal with cars or GI Joes, but they always corrected me. "Mommmmyyyy, your not doing it right!!!" (Ps...get used to hearing that one...lol). Just roll with the punches and you'll do great! Oh and a well stocked wine celler and chocolate DOES help with the older two!

Monica said...

I recently discovered your blog through The Pleated Poppy. I laugh hysterically at least 3-1/2 times per post. Thanks!

Beware little girl's clothes...I have one child, a one year old girl and I am completely addicted to buying clothes. She has enough hand-me-downs from friends that I probably didn't need to ever buy her anything. (But buy I did!) I love Gymboree & Old Navy...always buying on clearance!

Good luck! :)

Jessica said...

Love this post! I would say about the drama, if you are a drama free mama then she will probably be pretty sensible in that way. It also helps having brothers but no sisters. I have a very similar red tinted picture of myself with the SAME fake forest background, lol. 1980-81?

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