The Mac Daddy

In case you didn't know, my husband Jason is a computer nerd.

And he's okay with that term. In fact, as soon as you say it in any sort of derogatory manner, he quickly points out that "nerds rule the world".

See? I told you he was a nerd.

Since Jason is a geeky, tech-y person, he was been wanting a Mac Book for a while now. And yesterday he found his new love.

The MacBook Pro {purchased by his company, thankyouverymuch}!

I tried to give these 2 some time alone last night to bond.

So now I guess he's a switch hitter , batting for the other team - I don't know how to put this!
I guess since the first thing he installed was Windows XP, then he's not completely a convert... yet. I think it all started with our iPhones last summer and now he's in love with Apple. Or at least the idea of being cooler with Apple products. Those nerds are always trying to climb the cool ladder. Just ask Patrick Dempsey; that guy will NEVER get to be cool.

So, what are you? A Mac or a PC?

Welcome to the World of Boys

The weather is finally getting more spring like, so we did some exploring in the yard yesterday afternoon. The kids had just gotten up from their nap (thus the hair) and O-man discovered a new friend. And just so you know, Ollie is getting his Afro hair cut this afternoon and was due for a haircut last week, but I had to reschedule because his hair cutting distracter {*ahem* ME} was preoccupied with more important things.

Ollie's current favorite book is "We're Going on a Bear Hunt", so the rest of the afternoon we were going on a "worm" hunt. One of our little victims was named "Slidey". He managed to slide back to his natural habitat unharmed- at least physically. I'm sure the worm therapists out there will manage a new client or two.

I love boys. I think I'd like a tea party every now and again, but worm hunts and tents and pirates are all pretty cool, too.

Welcome Spring {and I guess you worms are okay, too}!

A few pointers to myself in 1988

Dear 1988 self,
Here are a few quick pointers, so get out your Hello Kitty pad and pencil.

1. Do not stick your rear end out for any picture, any time. Even if you are holding a bat, this is bad form.

2. Never wear white on the bottom. We are pear shaped. You don't know what that is now, but just start investing in black pants and dark denim.

3. Quit letting your mother determine your hair style. The bowl will only work for so long. I realize that Mary Lou Retton brought in the bowl in 1984, but it is gone. So gone. This look works for no one except for pre-teen boys in the 2000s who flip it all the way around their head and will most likely have neck injuries from all their flippage.

4. We will not be flying in cars in the 2000s, so don't believe Back to the Future.

5. Kirk Cameron IS actually a good guy in real life. It's okay to have a crush on him as Mike Seaver in Growing Pains. Just know that you will never in a million years end up with him-or even meet him. Or Zak Morris. Or the guy from Silver Spoons. You WILL meet Bob Saget from Full House. But don't hold your breath.

Have a lovely softball game and try not to act like a goober, please. If we start trying now, maybe we'll work up to "graceful" in our 30s.

Or maybe not.

The Bachelor: The case of the incorrect pronoun usage and the overemotional man

I never watch The Bachelor. Ever. But apparently there was a girl from my city on this year and everyone I know has been watching. I think my minister even used a Bachelor reference in a sermon last week. So after Chuck was over tonight, I talked Jason into watching The Bachelor- The Final Rose- only because I’d like to be in the know at the supermarket.

Really. It’s that bad.

Here is the main thing I’m taking away from The Bachelor tonight: incorrect pronoun usage is running rampant. It is devastating. If someone could give it some background music and a closeup, I would be sadder about that than the “super secret After the Final Rose special” that I’m watching right now {how could he??}.

I’ve never admitted this before, because I don’t want to be held to this standard, but I am a grammar snob.

There. I said it.

Please don’t call me on my own mistakes because I am only human. BUT I do know the difference between, “There was always chemistry between Melissa and I” {INCORRECT} and “I hate to let Molly go, me and her had an amazing time” {INCORRECT}. Or “Melissa and Molly should run like heck from this loser.” {CORRECT} {Oh, what, no pronouns there?}

Hearing these make me cringe and I have to correct it out loud. I even sometimes do this at meetings. If you hear a muffled cough of “me” in the corner, that’s probably yours truly having to verbally white out the air that was tainted with horrible grammar. I have been yelling corrected pronouns at the TV screen since we’ve been watching. Ugh. And now, watching the After the Final Rose Special, I just hope that this guy goes to live on some island where they don’t care about grammar or flared nostrils. He’s awful.

The second thing I’ve learned is that they must only accept people who can cry at the mention of the words “rose ceremony” and/ or can “fall in love” with a stranger with television cameras following them. And then change their mind about that said stranger. Really? This is crazy! This guy is super-duper-wordy and over-the-top hormonal. If he says, “falling in love with you” one more time I might grab that rose and throw it at him- thorns first.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I like my men to be a little manlier than, say, someone who weeps openly in a designer suit, dramatically throwing himself over the edge of a waterfront mansion in New Zealand with quivering nostrils. I am reminded again of why I don’t watch The Bachelor.

BTW, Chris who hosts the Bachelor, has a hilarious blog post every week {I think?} for Entertainment Weekly. If you are into the Bachelor you should definitely read it. Coming from someone who is NOT into it {except now to have elementary, water-cooler knowledge}, I should tell you it’s all about the insider scoop and is awesome.

At least now I can join in on the buzz and be a part of a “historic” show.
It's about as historic as the fact that Jason fell asleep on the sofa 10 minutes into watching this. He didn’t even see the “dramatic” beginning, much less the ending.

I should have followed his lead.

He and I are definitely meant for each other {CORRECT}.

Mullet goes Bye-Bye

I first heard the term "mullet" from my friend, Alecia, around 2002-ish, I think. We were on a girls trip to the beach- pre-kids, but post husband- {is that how you classify things in your mind?}- and she pointed out a Mullet {you know- business in the front, party in the back?}.

We all laughed hysterically at the term and I distinctly remember my stomach muscles {I think I used to have those?} aching. We learned about all the different kinds of mullets at a website that's now down! I just checked- so sad. It was pretty offensive and UN-pc anyway, so that's alright.

I never thought the mullet would land right here in my own house, but sure enough, just as our first son had before, Henry was sporting a mullet. I think baby mullets are called mini-mullets. Whatever they are called, he had a fierce one- in a cute, baby sort of way. And we decided that it was time for it to go bye-bye tonight.

Here are the before shots:

Can I tell you that this cheez-it below was from afternoon snack... and we cut his hair after dinner?

During {yes, these are my kitchen scissors that also cut pizza}:

And AFTER!

All business here! No redneck baby parties, thankyouverymuch!Goodbye, Mullet! I'm sure you'll be back soon, but you are gone for now. Unfortunately, Henry looks like a little toddler now *sniff, sniff*. But at least his picture won't be posted on a redneck website anytime soon.

Well, at least not for the hair. Eating old snacks found in high chair, mother posting pictures of him shirtless and large baby pot belly are still possibilities.